Mad Geek
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Back from the alien abduction
Well, after it being pointed out to me that I haven't posted all summer, I thought I might try and rectify that problem.
Things have been hectic at work, like REALLY hectic. Last time I posted it was while I was on site with a new client we were about to be rolling out. Well, here we are, rolled out. It's not too happy. It feels like every wrong person who should never be in management currently has their hands in this project. And none of them listen to the actual people who have a clue what's going on. Namely, myself and my team leads. However, this time has taught me a lot about myself at work;
1. I train new hires like that drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket without even realizing it. ("What's your name scumbag?")
2. I can make a person either commit to working better, or leave and never come back within 72 hours of meeting them. I currently have about a 80-ish percent success rate, but I won't say in which direction.
3. After 40 hours a week, you get time and a half. After 54 hours a week, you get double time. After 80 hours a week, you die.
4. The normal man can keep 5 things (processor threads, if you will) in his head at any one time. Women think we can only hold one, but that's a misconception. It just appears to be one, since 4 slots are being taken up by sex, sex, food, and sleep.
5. Upon taking this position, I have expanded my abilities to handle 70 things at once . . . sort of. I can do it, but I'm a ditz when you try to talk to me then. A really efficient ditz.
6. Microsoft Access is really a cool program to use, and the devil incarnate to program. The guys at work that use it like they're reading a newspaper are freaks, and a threat to our genepool.
Probably the biggest reason I haven't been writing here is that even though I've had really good things to write, my mind goes blank now whenever in front of a monitor. I could be working on a doctoral thesis in my mind, but as soon as I'm in front of the keyboard, all I can think about is "I like cheese. Maybe I should write about that." The rest of the time is a complete waste in the fridge after that point.
This should be changing here, however. For one, school has started, and so I've made it perfectly clear to everyone at work that I am now limited to 40 hours a week (which means I will be working 50 hours). For another, I've been made moderator of a forum board I frequent, which actually requires me thinking while typing and once again expressing opinions. I've also joined the SFK forums which Andrew trolls. Too bad no one else does, as it's empty as a tomb.
In other news, we have bought our first house, and we are loving it. Current improvements have included installing fire extinguishers, fixing the yard light, clearing the gutters, installing drapes in baby's room, and replacing faucet and shower heads. Future improvements are resurrecting the lawn (might have to call someone else in for a blessing), carpet downstairs, new patio doors, and a storm door for the front. Otherwise, it's a pretty nice place to not have to do much to.
Also, I had some surgery a few weeks back where I had my trousers lightened. Imagine being kicked so hard in the groin, that one of your oldest friends pops out of your belly button. Yeah, and he was the size of a kiwi when he departed. Hopefully, there was no cancer found, but we are awaiting word from the doctor.
Tine is very ready to have this kid. Our due date is September 26th. Everyone says the first is either on time or late, but I think he's coming early. I'm taking bets, but my money is between September 12-15th. In any case, the crib is up (worst time of my life trying to make sense of those directions), the highchair is in place (second worst time), and we are decorated for him.
Our new ward has shed some very interesting light on the previous occupants of this home for us. As near as I can tell, they were insane and not all too bright. In this not that large home, they had 8 kids. Plus two parents. Plus, as near as I can tell, a dog. Also, while fixing the yard light, I got to experience some of their home repairs first hand; light bulb socket has three wires (hot, neutral, and ground) all going to a point in the light sensor . . . and no where else. The actual line from the house has been capped off and is no way connected to this lamp . . . wonder it didn't work.
Fun stuff all around. I've also changed my major, but I will leave that for another post, so as to not load this one with too much. ;-)
Things have been hectic at work, like REALLY hectic. Last time I posted it was while I was on site with a new client we were about to be rolling out. Well, here we are, rolled out. It's not too happy. It feels like every wrong person who should never be in management currently has their hands in this project. And none of them listen to the actual people who have a clue what's going on. Namely, myself and my team leads. However, this time has taught me a lot about myself at work;
1. I train new hires like that drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket without even realizing it. ("What's your name scumbag?")
2. I can make a person either commit to working better, or leave and never come back within 72 hours of meeting them. I currently have about a 80-ish percent success rate, but I won't say in which direction.
3. After 40 hours a week, you get time and a half. After 54 hours a week, you get double time. After 80 hours a week, you die.
4. The normal man can keep 5 things (processor threads, if you will) in his head at any one time. Women think we can only hold one, but that's a misconception. It just appears to be one, since 4 slots are being taken up by sex, sex, food, and sleep.
5. Upon taking this position, I have expanded my abilities to handle 70 things at once . . . sort of. I can do it, but I'm a ditz when you try to talk to me then. A really efficient ditz.
6. Microsoft Access is really a cool program to use, and the devil incarnate to program. The guys at work that use it like they're reading a newspaper are freaks, and a threat to our genepool.
Probably the biggest reason I haven't been writing here is that even though I've had really good things to write, my mind goes blank now whenever in front of a monitor. I could be working on a doctoral thesis in my mind, but as soon as I'm in front of the keyboard, all I can think about is "I like cheese. Maybe I should write about that." The rest of the time is a complete waste in the fridge after that point.
This should be changing here, however. For one, school has started, and so I've made it perfectly clear to everyone at work that I am now limited to 40 hours a week (which means I will be working 50 hours). For another, I've been made moderator of a forum board I frequent, which actually requires me thinking while typing and once again expressing opinions. I've also joined the SFK forums which Andrew trolls. Too bad no one else does, as it's empty as a tomb.
In other news, we have bought our first house, and we are loving it. Current improvements have included installing fire extinguishers, fixing the yard light, clearing the gutters, installing drapes in baby's room, and replacing faucet and shower heads. Future improvements are resurrecting the lawn (might have to call someone else in for a blessing), carpet downstairs, new patio doors, and a storm door for the front. Otherwise, it's a pretty nice place to not have to do much to.
Also, I had some surgery a few weeks back where I had my trousers lightened. Imagine being kicked so hard in the groin, that one of your oldest friends pops out of your belly button. Yeah, and he was the size of a kiwi when he departed. Hopefully, there was no cancer found, but we are awaiting word from the doctor.
Tine is very ready to have this kid. Our due date is September 26th. Everyone says the first is either on time or late, but I think he's coming early. I'm taking bets, but my money is between September 12-15th. In any case, the crib is up (worst time of my life trying to make sense of those directions), the highchair is in place (second worst time), and we are decorated for him.
Our new ward has shed some very interesting light on the previous occupants of this home for us. As near as I can tell, they were insane and not all too bright. In this not that large home, they had 8 kids. Plus two parents. Plus, as near as I can tell, a dog. Also, while fixing the yard light, I got to experience some of their home repairs first hand; light bulb socket has three wires (hot, neutral, and ground) all going to a point in the light sensor . . . and no where else. The actual line from the house has been capped off and is no way connected to this lamp . . . wonder it didn't work.
Fun stuff all around. I've also changed my major, but I will leave that for another post, so as to not load this one with too much. ;-)
:: posted by Zuke, 2:15 PM
1 Comments:
HE LIVES!!!!!
