Mad Geek

Hi there!

2007-06-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

OK . . .

I AM alive.
My server is down so my images don't load
Kaiden is HUGE
Nothing else to report.

Continue on as normal. Thank you.

The other side . . .

2006-09-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

Remember a while back, when I used to come here and post stuff? Wow, long time ago . . .

Anyway, I wrote about a senator Ted Stevens and his comments on how the internet works (here). Though it is trying to make fun, here is a video which is actually more accurate!

Ask A Ninja on Net Neutrality

At last!!!

2006-07-31T09:43:00.000-07:00

We add a jetpack to this thing, and I have my new ride to work!

Yay for Cat's dungeoun!

2006-07-04T06:44:00.000-07:00

I died in the Dungeon of Ely Chan

I was killed in a torchlit armoury by Shigure the minotaur, whilst carrying...

a Figurine of Leggsrobbins, the Amulet of Babies, the Sceptre of Video Games, the Amulet of Sidnei, the Sword of Aishuu, the Sword of Eillwony and 8 gold pieces.

Score: 66

Explore the Dungeon of Ely Chan and try to beat this score,
or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...

I hate idiots

2006-07-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

Especially ones that are in charge of making decisions for me.

Now, I understand that computers are my particular field of expertise and that not everyone (read, no one) really cares enough to learn about it like I do. Most people run on the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" approach that I can completely relate with; plumbing, building, and car repair are all areas that I know nothing about.

BUT, if I were about to vote on something related to one of these fields and then give a public statement on it, I'd sure as hell ask someone who DOES know about plumbing, building, or car repair. But not our Senate!

Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) on why he voted against net neutrality:
"There's one company now you can sign up and you can get a movie delivered to your house daily by delivery service. Okay. And currently it comes to your house, it gets put in the mail box when you get home and you change your order but you pay for that, right.

But this service isn't going to go through the interent and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and you order your movie and guess what you can order ten of them delivered to you and the delivery charge is free.

Ten of them streaming across that internet and what happens to your own personal internet?

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

So you want to talk about the consumer? Let's talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren't using it for commercial purposes.

We aren't earning anything by going on that internet. Now I'm not saying you have to or you want to discrimnate against those people [...]

The regulatory approach is wrong. Your approach is regulatory in the sense that it says "No one can charge anyone for massively invading this world of the internet". No, I'm not finished. I want people to understand my position, I'm not going to take a lot of time. [?]

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Now we have a separate Department of Defense internet now, did you know that?

Do you know why?

Because they have to have theirs delivered immediately. They can't afford getting delayed by other people.

[...]

Now I think these people are arguing whether they should be able to dump all that stuff on the internet ought to consider if they should develop a system themselves.

Maybe there is a place for a commercial net but it's not using what consumers use every day.

It's not using the messaging service that is essential to small businesses, to our operation of families.

The whole concept is that we should not go into this until someone shows that there is something that has been done that really is a viloation of net neutraility that hits you and me."
Those of you who are technically savvy will immediately understand why this bugs me. You were probably laughing the whole time. Those of you who are not will probably notice the guy wasn't making any sense. Just to let you in on the joke, that's why we're laughing.

My Nerd Score

2006-06-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

Testing my WMV embedding

2006-05-16T06:48:00.000-07:00

Superman is a jerk

2006-05-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Saw that in the toy store over the weekend and couldn't stop laughing. Either ol' Supe's is about to Judo-chop the arm off an old guy, or the old guy is choking on something and Kal'el is just trying to help. Mind you, by helping, he'll be punching the blocked object through the front of the guy's chest, so he looses either way.

Hooray for idiots!!!

2006-05-04T12:27:00.000-07:00

I was pointed to an "article" written by an IT "professional" that I found humorous and disgusting all at once!

http://shelleytherepublican.com/2006/04/Linux-European-threat-to-our-computers.html

Robert, Andrew . . . you'll want to read that. It's a hoot!

It bothers me that so many people immediately see anything foreign as an attack on God. As if American economy has a corner on the divine market.

*/puts on sarcasm hat: Because Linux exists, it threatens the supremacy of Microsoft, America, and by extension, Gearge W. Bush. By installing Linux, you might as well be shooting our president.
*/end sarcasm

Of course, I'm relatively liberal (for here) so leave it to me to competely disagree with such a moronic article.

Happy Anniversary hunny!

2006-05-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

So, today is my three year anniversary with my wife, Tine. It's sort of odd to look back over three years and realize how much has changed because things feel the same as they always have. Things have changed quite a bit, though:
We've both had new jobs, I've been through some real health problems, we've moved twice (and looking back at our old place it's almost like we never lived there), we've gone through cars, we've bought a house, we've started our family, we've gone through callings, and more.

It's funny to think that even though the years seem to fly by, there's actually alot that goes on in between them that we sometimes forget.

You're still my lovely 'Cookie Munch'!

It's called a PEBCAK

2006-05-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

So, on the side I build computer systems for people. Not an uncommon thing for a person in my line of work, I know. I have never had a system that I built fail . . . EVER. My wife actually says I spend too much time on making sure the system is rock solid stable before ever handing it off to the person and I should just move on to the next build. I'm not saying that a computer WILL never fail, just that it's unlikely to be right off the bat from something I forgot to do.
A friend of mine called me today saying that his father in law (who I built a system for) is upset with his computer. I've had complaints from this guy before and it's always the same error: "No system disc found." This is a genuine error and I immediately started down my checklist of worry spots:
Did I forget to set SATA as the boot device and it's looking for an IDE drive?
Did the partition table corrupt and is no longer recognized by Windows?
Was I a real moron and forget to include the SATA drivers from the motherboard maker in the first place?
Is the drive bad?
I went through my log of what I did and when I did it and I came to the answers no, no, no, and maybe. After driving across the valley (in my less than fuel efficient car) I show up to take a look at the system. As if in fear of me, it boots up with no problem. I run a few diagnostics and see the drive is operating just fine, within normal temperatures, the BIOS are set correctly, the drivers are fine, and Windows can see no problems (there's not even an entry in the error log). Just to be sure, I reboot the system 10 more times over the course of an hour.
That was a week ago and he says it's happening again. He wants a refund. So I had to tell him that he never actually bought the system from me, his daughter and my friend bought the hardware on their own and paid me to assemble it. But I'll happily refund the $25 I got from it to return my services by formatting the drive back to zeros and taking the system apart into it's base components . . . just like it was before my "meddling".
I have yet to hear back from him.

The secret word for today is . . .

2006-04-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

Wii

What. The. Crap.
The Nintendo Revolution was just renamed 'Wii' I kid you not. Supposedly, the two 'i' next to each other are supposed to either represent two people playing, or the two controllers needed to let ONE person operate the console. I personally think it sounds like Nintendo has gone senile.

It has led to a fun time here at work though; people look at each other, suppress a giggle, throw our hands in the air and go WEEEEEE.

Amen brotha!

2006-03-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

I finally found it!

2006-03-17T13:19:00.000-07:00

So, in the ol'days, Japanese families had family crests called mon or ka-mon. I wasn;t sure, but I wanted to find out if Okinawan families used to have them too (namely, mine). After much searching, I finally found this site! OK, well, great; it's all in Japanese. And not just any Japanese either . . . really small Japanese.

Undeterred, I started looking though the crests to see if I could find mine. I started in the 'A' names (sounded like a good plan) and started comparing kanji. Keep in mind that the kanji for my last name is up as my profile picture. It took me a lot of looking, but I found it!

And wouldn't you know it, but it's the most boring one in the bunch! Oh well!

Mac Killed My Inner Child

2006-03-10T15:19:00.000-07:00

Now, before my Mac using friends start flaming me . . . this guy is referring to an older version of the Mac OS, which even you guys have admited sucked.

Let the debate begin!

2006-03-06T07:43:00.000-07:00

HAHA!!! Only a matter of time!

2006-03-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday, March 4, 2006
Schanze shuts down 'Awesome Computers'

By Jennifer K. Nii and Nicole Warburton
Deseret Morning News
After months of controversy about his personal and professional life, "Super" Dell Schanze said Friday that his company, Salt Lake City-based Totally Awesome Computers, is going out of business.
Dell Schanze The announcement came during a late meeting Friday at the Jordan Commons theater in Sandy. Employees had been gathered there to officially get notice of the closure and hear an employment pitch from Dan "The Laptop Man" Young, owner of PC Laptops.
Schanze wouldn't comment specifically about the closure. His vice president of operations, Bruce Hacking, said that customers could find out where to pick up computers on the Totally Awesome Web site or at individual store locations.
"I'm doing everything I can to make sure my employees are taken care of and, even more importantly, that all of my customers that I've made promises to, even if I have to perform miracles, are taken care of so no one's services are interrupted," said Schanze.
He then spoke to reporters for about 15 minutes about negative attention he's received since 2005 when he was involved in an incident in Draper involving a gun. Schanze is scheduled for a three-day jury trial in May as a result of that incident.
He blamed his troubles on the news media, unleashing a scathing attack.
"It's too bad that all of the media in Utah are liars and murderers," he said. "You just destroyed the greatest computer company of all time. We were the best in the world, the world champion. All this hatred was created by you. You're basically angels of Satan. All I can say to the people in Utah is, please pray for all the news people."
Former employees of Totally Awesome Computers, who declined to give their names, said Friday that Schanze was "misunderstood."
"He's just Dell," one employee said. "He's a great person."
Mike Terry for the Deseret Morning NewsDell Schanze, speaking to reporters Friday, said the media in Utah are "all liars and murderers." Young, owner of PC Laptops, said he didn't have specific details about the closure of Totally Awesome Computers. He did say that he was not purchasing the beleaguered company or its assets. Nor are the companies related or linked, Young said.
"We have no ownership in them, we're not buying them, we don't want to buy them in the shape they're in," Young said. "We're just taking care of their customers, the same way we did with Gateway Computers when they left town and others before them."
Young was scheduled to interview several Totally Awesome employees late Friday about the possibility of joining his firm. PC Laptops has about 50 employees, Young said, and he is looking to hire about 20 to 30 more as part of a broader corporate expansion.
PC Laptops will also honor Totally Awesome Computer customers' service warranties, at least for the next 90 days. The company also will service Totally Awesome products.
Young said PC Laptops will expand its current retail space and is scouting for additional locations. Currently, PC Laptops operates six retail locations and one warehouse in Utah, plus one store in Henderson, Nev.
"If people have a Totally Awesome computer, we want to adopt them into our family," Young said. "We want to kind of be the white knight and help these people out. And, I think they'll find that they'll have a better experience with us than they did with Totally Awesome. It's almost like a free upgrade."
An anonymous e-mail sent out Friday said that privately held Totally Awesome Computers had faced "a steady decline in sales since 2001," and "during the last year their sales have been 40 percent to 50 percent down over the same month in the prior year."
The anonymous e-mail attributed the declining business to Schanze's "media stunts" and allegations related to the incident in Draper in 2005. Schanze is charged with three misdemeanors: making threats with a dangerous weapon in a fight, a Class A misdemeanor, and the Class B misdemeanors of reckless driving and making written false statements.

Huh. Ok I guess.

2006-02-24T23:25:00.000-07:00

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Hmm, sort of interesting survey

2006-02-19T17:46:00.000-07:00

So, I guess Catherine started this and it got emailed around. Then I got Stacey's (Stacey, I'm the only one who called you mature!). So here we go, try me out! Err, nevermind.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Zuke

Arena

(known to self and others)

adaptable, intelligent, logical, patient

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, caring, clever, confident, idealistic, independent, kind, observant, religious, silly, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

giving, modest

Unknown

(known to nobody)

accepting, bold, brave, calm, cheerful, complex, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, friendly, happy, helpful, ingenious, introverted, knowledgeable, loving, mature, nervous, organised, powerful, proud, quiet, reflective, relaxed, responsive, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise

Dominant Traits

66% of people agree that Zuke is intelligent
66% of people think that Zuke is witty

All Percentages

able (33%) accepting (0%) adaptable (33%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (33%) cheerful (0%) clever (33%) complex (0%) confident (33%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (0%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (33%) independent (33%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (66%) introverted (0%) kind (33%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (33%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (33%) organised (0%) patient (33%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (33%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (33%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (0%) wise (0%) witty (66%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 20.2.2006, using data from 3 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view Zuke's full data.

I know kung fu!

2006-02-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why they are doing what they are doing in this video, but it's pretty amazing!

And Ghandi II

2006-01-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What is this "blog" you speak of?

2006-01-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been awhile. Sorry for going MIA on everyone!

Update, the fast version;
Thanksgiving saw us travelling to three different homes for food, across three different counties. That's nearly three turkeys we got to enjoy. Lots of driving, and lots of fun getting to see everyone!

We went to Tucson right before Christmas and Kaiden got to meet his Great Grandma Donna (my side) and his Great Aunt Diana for the first time. He also got to be shown off by his Grandpa Jensen to the whole ward down there. Tucson is weird. And I'll leave it at that. Tine's parents are back in Utah, but not in Salt Lake City. They bought a place up in Bear Lake and come down often for Jim's work.

We went down to a friend's place in Lehi for New Year's. We love going there, as they have a tendancy for making WAY more food than eny normal person could hope to eat, and it's all wonderful.

The Watson's (Cathering, Jeff, and baby Vanessa) visted in the first week of January, and Kaiden and Vanessa got to be aquainted. It was so cute watching her freak out (good way) about seeing him. She'd give almost this painful squeal and try to play with him. Catherine managed to catch some very good pictures of the two of them together.

Work is the same, no change. At least on my side. Tine is no longer employed, and is enjoying her time with Kaiden at home. I've thrown my SI joint in my back (again) and am frequenting my chiropracter.

On the note that no one cares; started up my server and it's rock solid! FINALLY! That's what I get for trying to expiriment in 30 different things at once, and not knowing what I'm doing in a single one of them. I tried running my own mail server, but screwed up and left the relay open and was hijacked by spam bots. WHOOPS. I'm in the middle of building a new website which I hope to have up and running (as soon as I leanr another programming language).
I've installed Windows Media Center Edition and have also enabled a Media Center Extender to my Xbox. Suddenly my wife likes my Xbox! We use it as a Tivo (for free) and to play all my computer based music and videos on our main entertainment center.
I've now witnessed 4 signs of the apocolypse:
1) Apples are now PCs (and I'm lauging at all the zealots who kept blowing it off as a hoax).
2) Xbox 360 is an Apple G5.
3) Microsoft Windows's source code is now available through license.
4) My wife enjoys using my Xbox.

Yup, business as usual.

Wow . . . What an idiot

2005-10-13T17:16:00.000-07:00

Now, I've been told that I over simplify and cut things into black and white that really are more complex than that. I can't help it, it's how I operate. To me, there is a YES or NO solution to everything, with the little semantics either sacrificed or simply accepted. This attitude means that occasionally I make a pretty bold statement about something or someone that not everyone agrees with, and it's written off as "One of Zuke's rants." However, this is different.

Upon going across different blogs, I've come across one called GwenBlog that both Tine and I enjoy reading. It follows Gwen, who is a Chinese baby who was adopted by an American couple in North Carolina. In today's post, the mother posted a link to an article that made her blood boil. Ever the snoop, I followed it and read along. Yeah, the mom had a good reason to be furious;

Moron finds a soapbox!

This family "expert" compares the adoption of a child into a family the equivalent to a pair of lesbians adopting kids. Oh, and people who make use of artificial insemination, they are the same too, evidentially. She goes on to say that the Bible tells us that adoption is ok, so long as the birth mother stays around to provide the actual "mothering" to her child. Of course, the Bible didn't take crack whores or parents who may be DEAD into account.

I know people who have adopted, I know people who have BEEN adopted, and I know people that, without a helping hand from modern science, may not have had the blessing of a child. I also know of a family who does keep the biological mother in the picture, and they are beyond screwed up. In my book, it doesn't matter so much HOW you were brought to your family, so long as you DO find your family.

A child needs to be raised by people who love it. Whether that is a mother & father combo, single parent, grandparent, adopted parent (gasp), or even (so be it) a homosexual parent.

So here's my black or white, yes or no logic on this subject; if a child is without parents (or even, parents who even want to love them) is it going to be better for the child to never be loved and cared for, or to be raised by surrogates? Is it better for a child to never belong to a caring family than to be a part of a family who does not share the same genetic code? Is this even a valid question?

There is no way in this world or the next that Tine and I would even think of leaving Kaiden by himself if something were to happen to us. Even if Ms. Expert say our child is living in sin by not living with his biological parents, I'd rather him be in a loving home.

To be fair (really, I try), the woman is just as stupid in every one of her articles on that site. While I cannot claim to know her personally (and probably wouldn't even if I did), she would appear to be the kind of woman who thinks she knows best, simply because she had kids. She went to graduate school for counseling, but decided that she knew better than anyone else after she successfully got knocked up and then proceeded to pass something out of her uterus. Perhaps someone should tell her she is not the first to do so. In fact, why don't we ALL tell her.

trishcomicmom@earthlink.net

A new blog

2005-09-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

So he doesn't have to share space with his old man, Kaiden is going to have his own blog where everyone can go to see his pictures and get updates. I figured this would do him the most justice.

http://karakaki3.blogspot.com

The whole KArakaki3 is only because he is the third K. Arakaki (my dad Kiyoshi, myself, and him). If I can ever think of something better to name it, I'll update everyone. I'm also going to add it to the friends list to the left, so you can still go there in case you forget to bookmark it.

Yes, it was active labor

2005-09-15T02:28:00.000-07:00

So, it's 3:30AM. For some reason, I can't sleep. Here's why;

My son, Kaiden Ichiro Arakaki was born last night (err, three hours ago). September 15th, at 12:30AM MST. He is 19 inches long, and weighs in at 6 pounds, 13 ounces. As for Cat's comment to my last entry, I completely understand what you meant, and it's what I thought as well. But it was active labor. Really, really, really slow active labor.

At 1AM yesterday morning, Tine wakes me up again. I figure she needs something from me, but it's her contractions; they've sped up to every 2 minutes and are harder now. We go to the hospital (again), where they check her in and we sleep in a birthing room hooked to monitors. At 7AM, her doctor comes in, and decides to break her water. She goes onto Pitocin, and even then, it takes her until 11:30PM to dialate enough for delivery. Give us another hour, and we have a baby.

Yes, I bawled. I can't tell you how happy I was when I heard him cry that first time. There are plenty of pictures, but none of them from my digital camera, so it'll be a short while before they are on here.

I think it's time I get some sleep!

The slide show lied to me

2005-09-13T17:38:00.000-07:00

So, here we are. Hour 32 of these dammable contractions. Still no baby. Not even the inkling of baby. Just baby sitting pretty, laughing at us. Tine went into the hospital yesterday morning with these sudden pains and got looked at. Sure enough, she had started her contractions. 5 minutes apart, and steady. I rush home after class to find that they released her since nothing is progressing. Last night, I think we tried every home remedy we could think of just to try and induce labor (except that one). No go.

I finally get to sleep around 1AM, but not before joking with her that she'll be waking me up around 3AM to get going. Me and my stupid big mouth. Sure enough, 3:14AM she is clutching my arm and getting me out of bed . . . we're out of cereal and she needs some NOW!!! We are 38.5 weeks into this little even, and she now decides to get cravings. Come back home with Toasty-O's in hand, and crash. We started sleeping in the living room, then moved to the futon in the family room, then to the recliner, then finally back to bed.

Today, first thing in the morning, we go and see her doctor for an update. Congratulations, your contractions are still steady and regular and you have nor dilated to a one. We go back home and sleep for a few more hours. 3PM rolls around and we're back at the hospital with some harder contractions. YAY, we're almost to a two!

The doctor is hesitant about forcing things along when we're technically two weeks early, and not even dilated to a three. Not that I can blame him. So what do we do, we schedule an appointment for next week. If this goes on till next week, I'm hunting down the guy that made those materials in our birthing class and stabbing him. Nothing in this pregnancy has yet to match the handy dandy slide show presentation ("Your Belly and You") we saw.

TV's Top 5

2005-08-30T21:02:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I were talking the other night, and as usual, the topic went to something completely random that only he and I could possibly consider interesting. The flavor of the moment was TV show theme songs and how good and how bad they can be. So, here are the best 5 I can think of in no particular order. Yes, those are links to the actual songs.

Batman Beyond - They took this show from the air far too soon.
Mission:Impossible - Yes, Henri Mancini was a musical genius.
Men in Black: the animated series - Another one taken before its time. Far better than the movie, it more followed the comics.
Dr. Who - Creepy and cool all at the same time. I'm sure it was supposed to be more sci-fi sounding, but considering I felt the show was more like Twilight Zone than Star Trek, I call it creepy. Good song none the less.
Hawaii Five-O - OK, it's cheesy, but still as fun as when it was new. For some reason, I only have half the song. :-(

Runners Up:
Inspector Gadget - Cool bass line and good cohesion while still being loads of fun. From the Speed Racer era . . . just doesn't sound like Speed Racer.
Read Or Die (R.O.D.) - An interesting anime. Only reason it's not in my top 5 is that it's overseas, so no one really knows it.
Cowboy Bebop - Yes, that's the opening theme song, though it's edited down to 1'50" on the show. Same reason as the above for being a runner up.

I personally want a theme song that makes me excited about the show . . . every time. I want it to convey style, excitement, or whatever it is that is supposed to make that show special within the course of a minute or less. I do NOT want it to be the time I can skip off to the bathroom or kitchen (or both, depending on its length) before the show starts. I definitely don't want it to be something so annoying that I have to skip it every time when watching a season on DVD.

As always, feel free to leave comments. Or better yet, post your own (even if you don't have the actual files or hosting space.)

Zoom In

2005-08-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

http://moon.google.com/

It's amazing how detailed some satellite images can be!

A New Look

2005-08-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

So, I decided it might be time to update the look of the site a tad. I've never been one for stock settings (on anything), and usually don't know what it is I'm doing until I've done it. That said, my old theme had a few firsts for me, and though I liked it greatly, the background was beginning to make things hard to read. If I knew what it was I wrote, but had problems reading it, I can only imagine that most of you were just scanning for pictures for fear of inducing a seizure by actually reading it.

This new one is not from a template like the last one, but instead slightly modified from it. The background assumes you are using at least a 1024x768 resolution (and those of you that aren't should really get out of 1994), and that inverted contrast doesn't give you a headache. Leave a comment (which hopefully I remembered to change the color on) to let me know what you think, and if it's acting correctly!

Back from the alien abduction

2005-08-28T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, after it being pointed out to me that I haven't posted all summer, I thought I might try and rectify that problem.

Things have been hectic at work, like REALLY hectic. Last time I posted it was while I was on site with a new client we were about to be rolling out. Well, here we are, rolled out. It's not too happy. It feels like every wrong person who should never be in management currently has their hands in this project. And none of them listen to the actual people who have a clue what's going on. Namely, myself and my team leads. However, this time has taught me a lot about myself at work;

1. I train new hires like that drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket without even realizing it. ("What's your name scumbag?")
2. I can make a person either commit to working better, or leave and never come back within 72 hours of meeting them. I currently have about a 80-ish percent success rate, but I won't say in which direction.
3. After 40 hours a week, you get time and a half. After 54 hours a week, you get double time. After 80 hours a week, you die.
4. The normal man can keep 5 things (processor threads, if you will) in his head at any one time. Women think we can only hold one, but that's a misconception. It just appears to be one, since 4 slots are being taken up by sex, sex, food, and sleep.
5. Upon taking this position, I have expanded my abilities to handle 70 things at once . . . sort of. I can do it, but I'm a ditz when you try to talk to me then. A really efficient ditz.
6. Microsoft Access is really a cool program to use, and the devil incarnate to program. The guys at work that use it like they're reading a newspaper are freaks, and a threat to our genepool.

Probably the biggest reason I haven't been writing here is that even though I've had really good things to write, my mind goes blank now whenever in front of a monitor. I could be working on a doctoral thesis in my mind, but as soon as I'm in front of the keyboard, all I can think about is "I like cheese. Maybe I should write about that." The rest of the time is a complete waste in the fridge after that point.

This should be changing here, however. For one, school has started, and so I've made it perfectly clear to everyone at work that I am now limited to 40 hours a week (which means I will be working 50 hours). For another, I've been made moderator of a forum board I frequent, which actually requires me thinking while typing and once again expressing opinions. I've also joined the SFK forums which Andrew trolls. Too bad no one else does, as it's empty as a tomb.

In other news, we have bought our first house, and we are loving it. Current improvements have included installing fire extinguishers, fixing the yard light, clearing the gutters, installing drapes in baby's room, and replacing faucet and shower heads. Future improvements are resurrecting the lawn (might have to call someone else in for a blessing), carpet downstairs, new patio doors, and a storm door for the front. Otherwise, it's a pretty nice place to not have to do much to.

Also, I had some surgery a few weeks back where I had my trousers lightened. Imagine being kicked so hard in the groin, that one of your oldest friends pops out of your belly button. Yeah, and he was the size of a kiwi when he departed. Hopefully, there was no cancer found, but we are awaiting word from the doctor.

Tine is very ready to have this kid. Our due date is September 26th. Everyone says the first is either on time or late, but I think he's coming early. I'm taking bets, but my money is between September 12-15th. In any case, the crib is up (worst time of my life trying to make sense of those directions), the highchair is in place (second worst time), and we are decorated for him.

Our new ward has shed some very interesting light on the previous occupants of this home for us. As near as I can tell, they were insane and not all too bright. In this not that large home, they had 8 kids. Plus two parents. Plus, as near as I can tell, a dog. Also, while fixing the yard light, I got to experience some of their home repairs first hand; light bulb socket has three wires (hot, neutral, and ground) all going to a point in the light sensor . . . and no where else. The actual line from the house has been capped off and is no way connected to this lamp . . . wonder it didn't work.

Fun stuff all around. I've also changed my major, but I will leave that for another post, so as to not load this one with too much. ;-)

I hate you, Blogger!

2005-06-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

I just wrote a seven page entry about Apple's new decision to go with Intel. Details here.

I am now in no mood to rewrite the whole thing. Let's shorten it up!
MacOS on Pentium4, good! Mac hippies rushing blindly to find another "counter-culture" system, could be bad. And I fully reserve the right to laugh unabashedly at the next Mac zealot who says I don't know what I'm talking about.

Sometimes more interesting than the movie!

2005-05-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

This actually happened a while ago, but I kept forgetting to post on it. We devided to rent Princess Diaries II for Tine and watch it for a date night at home. It was . . . eh.

In any case, for one reson or another, I start reading the back blurb about the movie. Now, since Blockbuster doesn't use the normal cases for the movies, they write their own synopsis on the back of their cases describing each movie. Evidentally, they don't know which movie they are writting about half the time.

"A man traveling to New York is forced to live at the JFK if the young Princess Mia doesn’t find a man to marry within 30 days, her family will lose the crown! DVD includes bloopers, deleted scenes, a Kelly Clarkson music video and more. Brief language and drug references. Rating: Rated G"

Hmm, I don't remember alot of that happening in the movie.

Ok, so maybe Vader really IS that bad!

2005-05-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

Saw Star Wars Episode III today.
Holy. Crap.

Somewhere, somehow, Lucas remembered how to tell a story and what cinematography means! I won't give away any parts of the movie to people, but I will say this; it's dark. Like REALLY dark. There are laughs, and there are sad points, and Padme & Anakin still have the worst dialogue in the movie. Overall, however, it was a well executed finale to the prequel Star Wars!

I was going to give up on the whole Darth Vader vs. The King I mentioned below. I actually saw the commercial where they confront each other; it was lame. It basically consisted of 30 seconds of the two of them breathing heavily through their masks about 7 inches apart. Fun stuff all around, right?

If any of you have not seen the movie yet, and have the ability to find these, I would SERIOUSLY suggest watching "Clone Wars". That is the micro-series that was shown on Cartoon Network for 3 seasons and basically helped show what everyone went through during the wars. You get to see a whole new perspective to Anakin's and Obi Wan's relationship and how it changes as he becomes a Knight. You get to actually watch the Chancellor get abducted (which is only briefly mentioned in the movie) and it's explained WHY General Grievous is wheezing so badly at the beginning. It also shows why Mace Windu is the man.

Remember those "other" blogs I hate?

2005-05-12T11:26:00.000-07:00

Had just finished editing the entry below when I decided to hit the "Next Blog" button in the corner. The one that came up was one of those I can't stand, and can be entirely summed up by the subtitle the owner left on it:

"Betta be on your guard. Fer my werds may perforate thru ur heart."

Um, yeah . . . Heart, ears, all the same right?

Vader really isn't so bad after all!

2005-05-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

So, I know I've already made a (dumb) joke at its expense, but Burger King's ad campaign is really, really disturbing at times. The worst is the commercial where they first re-introduced the King. I say "re-introduced" because it turns out he was a common figure back in the late-70's. It was not uncommon to see someone dressed as a king doing magic tricks in the parking lot of your nearby BK. However, those kings were merely humans dressed up to represent the company. This new king is actually a void in the Force and is here to swallow our souls.

If you recognize the scene above, then you would probably agree with me that this could be the most horrifying thing to wake up to. Worse than zombies even (and I HATE zombies). I don't care what kind of breakfast sandwich he was planning to offer me, he'd end up with a face full of fist before I ran for my life.

There is hope however! In a recent mailing I got, I was informed of a prize fight between the King (ruler of Darkness, spawn of the 7th seal), and Darth Vader (newly appointed Sith Lord, tyrant in training).

Now, I realize that Vader is just trying to get the word out about his new movie and this is good publicity for him. But I really want to see him show us what he can do to the King. In Episode 4, he simply swung a lightsaber (ONCE!) and force choked some guy. In Episode 5, he rearranged air conditioning units and nominated his family for Jerry Springer. In Episode 6, he got whooped. Let's face it, he NEEDS a good showing in this fight, and I plan on cheering him all the way!

And WHY were comics so popular again?

2005-05-05T05:31:00.000-07:00

Found a site here thats a little amusing and even more disturbing. It's interesting to go through all the old archives, though, and see how many of these comics either influenced or were influenced by public opinion of things.

I think this one was our stance on the middle east.

Oops!

2005-04-30T12:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know how often many of you visit this page, but you might have seen it naked recently. My FTP space that was obtained through a friend lapsed (he didn't renew his subscription and didn't bother to tell anyone) taking all my pics with it. This included my profile pic, my background, and nearly all posted content.

Thankfully, I happen to own some other webspace that I was able to add an FTP service on, so I'm back in action! The problem is, some of the pics there were on the old system didn't exist anywhere else. So, until I recreate them, you will be seeing random pics not working (Catherine, I'll be working on replacing yours first!)

So, I thank everyone in advance for their patience as I try and restore any content I might have had stored for you.

Ouch!

2005-04-29T06:02:00.000-07:00

There was once someone, who will remain nameless though they don't even read this blog, who told me I was just a pawn of the Microsoft world because I quoted him a benchmark that actually showed an Athlon64 beating a Mac G5 in certain applications. When he asked me who had run the benchmark, I actually walked him to the site where it had been conducted. While the site was a most reputable and well known one, he concluded that it was also owned by pawns of Microsoft.

Evidentially, he was under the impression that www.apple.com and MacWorld magazines had a much more impartial benchmark running. Hope he doesn't read this; his poor little mind might just explode!

Mac Benchmark gets pwned!

Not quite sure how to take this . . .

2005-04-22T04:56:00.000-07:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Senichi Shimizudani

What's your Japanese Name?

"The Devil is beating his wife"??????

2005-04-22T04:50:00.000-07:00

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

15% Yankee

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Hmm, General American English. How is that any different from the other things they listed? Thanks to Catherine for finding this test! Loads better than my geek one.

Way Too Much Time Today

2005-04-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

I'd be fixing that ASAP

Up in the top right corner is a button that says 'Next Blog' (or something to that effect). Its pretty cool in that it takes you to a completely random blog made by someone else everytime. You'll never go to the same one twice! On some of these, I find interesting pictures (like the one listed above).

More often than not, I've found some pretty well-written bits and pieces of other people's lives. Even though I may not hear about their personal lives (I almost perfer not to), I DO get a glimpse at their personality. There are the few 'blogs' that were put up simply to get a word count on Google, and there are the ones I can't read since they are in other languages. Surprisingly, the whiny 14-yr old girl with bad poetry ones are pretty few and far between. I guess they all stay to other services then.

One thing that I have noticed (and forgive me if I've already posted on this) are the morons that put popups on their blogs. Now, I know why they have these popups, and that makes me even more annoyed. What they do is they go and find cute Java or ActiveX scripts to paste into their template so your mouse cursor turns into a kitty or something. In the process, it also tags you with some bad cookies and gives you a nice popup that refuses to go away.

Most of the scripts they use are annoying by themselves anyway. I think the clock on the left side of my blog to be much better looking and funtional than having a pair of eyes watch your cursor (less creepy too).

I guess this is a good thing . . .

2005-04-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

Super Geek 9000
You scored 96% Geekiness!

An absolute shut-in: You are the Computer Super Geek 9000. You rolled your eyes at the simplicity of every question, wishing for a more challenging test. You knew that "TsuGoina" wasn't a real operating system, and you were slightly annoyed that I even threw it in there. You ought to go outside more, if only for the sunlight and Vitamin D. Deficiency of Vitamin D can increase the risk of muscle weakness, autoimmune diseases, osteoporosis and certain types of cancer.

Link: The Super Geek Computer Test written by cyberpants on Ok Cupid

HeHe, Love This Comic Strip

2005-04-20T05:02:00.000-07:00

Not only is this post pointless, it's not even really mine! Bwa ha ha!

To the left of this text area is my links. I know one of them doesn't work. The other ones do, and one of those leads to RealLifeComics.com. If ever you want the insight as to how a geek thinks (and what we think is hilarious), take a jaunt over there.

I bring this up today, due to today's strip located here. I read this a giggled endlessly. No, seriosuly, I did. THATS what we find funny!

Hooray for unintended consequences!

2005-03-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

"Yeah, I beat her. It's ok though because she wasn't my wife!"

Found that today and thought it amusing. The best part is when the leader who helped push the amendment through states "There's nothing wrong with the constitutional amendment. If there's any law contrary to the constitutional amendment, we will fix it."

So lets get this straight, you passed a law without thinking through what it could mean for all your other laws and now want to rewrite every one that might conflict with it? Um, ok.

My friends with Tivo probably won't get this next little bit, but its about a VERY annoying commercial for BK. Shows Darien Rucker must be down on his luck.

Unintended consequence of this move? Well, it confirms that Hootie is still alive, but at what cost?

Bow to the Geek!

2005-03-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

So, amongst my friends, we have a small power struggle to see who is the bigger geek. Really, there's only three of us who care, but its fun to bring up every once in awhile. For a short time, our friend Steve was the biggest geek, which is funny considering he has the least technical knowledge of anyone I know (though huge into movie, music, theater, and pop culture triva). Bryan (the other friend) and I were incredibly perplexed how the guy who once made fun of us for all our gadgets suddenly had a computer, dual tuner Tivo, and two xboxs networked to his DSL through an old bullet proof 10Mb hub I found at a thrift store for $5.

Well, happy days are here again! With the flurry of activity at our place, we have set up a customized xbox, PS2, digital cable, and overhauled computer on a wireless network, all linked into a 4Mb broadband connection. w00t.

Another w00t would be the addition of Xbox Live! into the mix. We have all been playing "Crimson Skies" every Saturday morning and it's been alot of fun. Last night I decided to host a game just to see what kind of other people played . . . it was sad. I won with 25 kills and only 5 deaths. It was sort of like everyone else joined the game just to chat, and only when it announced I had three kills left to win did they notice they had been dying alot. Oh well; pads my score nicely. If anyone who reads this wants to join, just look for WarHamur.

Also on the games list would be a title I recently started playing: Star Wars, Kinghts of the Old Republic. It's not a new title, but I only recently picked it up. It's addicting! Way too addicting. I haven't even picked up a lightsaber yet (which is usually the point where Star Wars games finally get interesting) but am already hooked on the gameplay.

Probably the best thing about this game would be the fact it actually has a plot! This is such a nice change from most PC games that just rely on graphics and shooting things. Even the past two Star Wars movies have tried to rely on just those two things!

On to movies . . . and Star Wars! Watched the Episode III trailer; over and over and over. Looks good. Like soil-my-shorts good! About time Lucas decideds to stop sugar coating the drama that happens in the story. Also in previews is Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. I've only read bits of the books here and there, but I'm excited to see this movie. Nothing like non-linear humor with little point and a large budget to make me happy!

Well, I think I'm about out of random stuff to let out. I'll get back to you when I have some more.

We're winning the war on terror!

2005-03-08T17:39:00.000-07:00

This is not fake . . . it might be funnier if it was.

"Student in High School zombie terror threat"

If you have a moment, I would consider reading it as it is only loosely connected to what I'm writing about next. Apparently, Washinton state is considering passing a bill that would hold video game makers responsible for crimes "inspired" by their violent creations. It also goes one step father by holding the retailer responsible as well.

The logic goes as follows:

Child plays violent game at early age and thinks its ok to shoot a cop.
Child shoots cop.
Company that creates game is held responsible to the family of that cop, as well as any damages caused the family of the kid.
Store that sold the kid the game is sued for selling him the game.

Well, how about I do you one better?

Child wants to buy violent game.
Parent pulls head out of orifice long enough to notice the game rating on box and denies kid.
Disaster averted.

Game ratings are there for reasons. Good reasons! If you don't want your kid to play violent games, don't let them play violent games! If your kid is bent on shooting a cop, they don't need a video game to tell the to do it.

Here's a scenario for you (assuming this passes, and I live in Washington):

After playing Halo 2 long enough, I decide to wage intergalactic war.
The remaining aliens sue RC Willey and Bungie for me ever getting the game.
Microsoft, as Bungie's parent company, takes major losses at the hands of alien lawyers and declares bankruptcy.
All Washington-based Microsoft employees (and there are a lot of them!) are laid off, creating a huge portion of unemployed people.
Washington state is screwed.

But I'm ok, because it was the game's fault.

From the random world of PC wars . . .

2005-03-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

My dream is to go to Starbucks, get a viente coffee, wear a black berret and carry my iPod photo with my Powerbook G5 over to my iMac Mini which I use as an iTunes device while I use iLife on a dual G5. I can sit back and laugh at all those fools who let Microsoft rule their life!

Hooray for handicap parking!

2005-02-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

Well, not much has changed since last post. I was able to get a handicap parking pass for when I return to work tomorrow. Our parking lot there is huge, and since I come in at 9'am every morning, I'm usually parked somewhere in the back. Not any more!

After getting the doctor's 'OK' to get one of those passes, you have to go to the DMV to get the actual hang-tag. It's ironic that the worst driving in the world happens in the DMV parking lot. I didn't have to wait long, since I got to go to the disability window and there was only one person ahead of me. The lady who helped me was very nice too. Our conversation went something like this:

"Hi, how are you?"

Me: "Good, thanks! Are you aware that the person here ahead of me hit your handicap parking sign and pulled it from the pavement? It's now resting next to the door."

"Doesn't surprise me; he has polio and can't really control his legs. He also has no depth perception."

So, with maybe a few exceptions (such as myself) when you see a handicap sticker or hang tag or license plate on a car near you, get away! It is more than possible the person is not fit to operate a motor vehicle, and so gets extra parking privileges. Go fig.

And I'm back!

2005-02-20T18:50:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! Not much has happened lately, so I figured there wasn't much of a reason to update this blog . . . HA!

About 2 weeks ago (February 7th)I was admitted into St Mark's Hospital for a small stroke in my left vertebral artery which ended up blocking blood to a small area in my spine around the C4-C5 junction and knocking my legs to jelly! I was in the hospital for about 3 days and was released home on a walker. True to form, I denied the walker and found myself a very respectable cane instead. Actually, the cane doesn't look much better, but I couldn't justify spending alot of money on something I hoped not to use for more than a month.

So, I'm now on blood thinners for about 3 months. They'r still tweaking the amount I'm going to be taking as they were hoping to get to me about a 2.5 INR (blood thickness level, the lower the number, the thicker it is). After the first week of medication, I was a 4.4. So they had me alter my schedule with it. Next week; 5.3. Loads of fun! It's especially funny to be told to avoid being cut or anything because I could potentially bleed to death AS THEY ARE DRAWING MY BLOOD!

Fast forward to yesterday. Tine and I have moved into her parents basement in West Valley. The hopes are that we will be able to save up for a house of our own. The good thing about this is that her parents currently live in Tucson where her dad is working. Not that her parents are bad by any means, but it's so much easier to share a house when the other people aren't there!

I was actually pretty worried about us moving since I can't lift anything, but our ward showed up in the form of a small army. Add to the mix our friends and family with a convoy of trucks and we were out of our old place in 30 minutes. It was like watching a small contingent of the Borg come in and clean us out!

Now I'm sitting here in the office enjoying my new 4Mb/s connection to the internet. (BTW, Andrew, to get your connection to upgrade to the new 4Mb standard, simply power cycle the modem and it will download its new configuration when it reconnects to the server). Between the xBox (Jeff, I beat Crimson Skies), cable, and internet . . . now is a good time to be 'crippled'. Well, except that the bathroom is upstairs!

State of the Zuke

2005-01-18T10:28:00.000-07:00

Well, it has bee awhile. Things have gotten rather busy here at work, so I haven't had a load of time to update this site. How much has happened? Well not a lot, to be completely honest. But it's how it all happened that makes an interesting story.

Sunday I came back into town and went to the airport to pick Tine up. We missed each other so much and seeing each other for the first time in 5 days was like we were dating again where we couldn't stop holding hands. Fast forward about 90 minutes and we're back home. While watching TV our house guest sets fire to our kitchen by turning on the wrong burner on the stove and incinerating the hot mitt that was laying on it. No major damage done.

Fast forward to Monday morning. On my way to work I stop to get gas. The driver in front of me at the pump decides to back his truck up and hits my bumper. Confused as to why his truck was no longer moving, he gases it and runs up the front of my bumper. His truck was a Ryder moving truck, and he had neither license nor English speaking abilities. Thankfully, the damage to my bumper was minimal and nothing else on the car was hurt.

Fast forward to Monday evening. Tine calls me to tell me that the house caught fire again, this time from an outlet that we've never fully trusted.

Meanwhile, at work, we have a new account that rolled out and I have been made back-up team lead for. So on top of catching up on all my work (plus a years worth of backwork I didn't know existed) I also have to learn a whole new system in two days. In addition, this was my week to carry the emergency after hours phone so I was on call 24/7. Everynight I lay there expecting to get a call telling me everything was going down, but it never happened.

Fun stuff all around.

Last night in one of our random discussions, Tine and I pondered the "epidemic" of immigrant workers you find around here now. Supposedly, all Zion's Bank employees (at least in certain locations) are required to speak Spanish. Of course, we had that same initial feeling most people have of "In America we speak English" until I though about it further.

See, when you look at it from a father point of view, you realize that it's not like there's a load of non-english speaking workers hiding in the parking lot of Wal-Mart waiting to ambush us and take our jobs. As far as they're concerned, they just want to work. Where the real fault lies, I believe, is in the companies who are willing to lower their employment standards in hopes of getting workers who demand less pay. Let's face it, in the world of business if you can find someone who will do the same job for less, you go for it.

The main reason many immigrants don't ever learn to speak English is not so much because they are lazy, but because everyone else makes it so easy to go without learning. It's sort of like professional wrestling; they are not evil for creating it, we are evil for creating a demand for it. And yes, professional wrestling is evil.

It might be sort of interesting to watch history repeat itself with all the immigrants that enter the country now. There was a time when all the same things were said about all the new citizens that came in through Ellis Island as well. Eventually, those different cultures clashed over their new status in the USA and we had all sorts of culture wars; the Irish against the Italians, the Chinese against the Italians, the Polish against the Italians, and most of all the Italians against the Italians.

I can just see a huge gang war build up between the immigrants from the south and the immigrants from the north. Hispanics versus Canadians . . . it'd be great! One side has Cadillacs with the virgin Mary on the dash, the other would hanging out in alleyways flashing their maple leaf gang sign.

"I'm goinna bust yeh up, eh."

My CES visit

2005-01-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

Read my write up here. And apologies to Andrew for the pic!

Spread some holiday cheer!

2004-12-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

Is there a Santa? Consider the following:

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

(NOTE: This appeared in the SPY Magazine (January, 1990) )

Long time, no post

2004-12-17T13:38:00.000-07:00

Well, things have been busy here on my end of things. I've been learning all I can about my new position here so I don't look like a moron when I have to ask the other team leads for help. There have been finals at school (I think I did ok). And to make it all the sweeter, the Christmas program at church is going to be mainly music, which means the choir is practicing a lot!

Some things have changed; mainly my schedule and appetite. I now work the 9AM to 6PM shift here at work. This has the annoying habit of throwing off my lunch hour and my tummy ain't happy about it. It's rather interesting getting to drive to work in daylight, however. There's a completely different feel to the road and the people who drive around seem to be much more brain-dead. Thankfully, they also seem to keep more to surface streets than the early risers (who are more a "freeway-using zombie" type people).

My car had some problems, but they are gone now. For awhile, we were sure that the fuel lines had frozen, or that the engine wasn't getting spark. After trying for a week to get it back up, we finally took it to a mechanic. It turns out that the timing belt has a tensioner hooked to a hydraulic ram. When it got really cold, the gasket for the hydraulic ram cracked and leaked all the fluid out. When the car started, there was no tension on the timing belt and the car shut itself off to prevent damage. So for the week it wouldn't start, it was because the car's computer wasn't letting it start. Smart car, ignorant owner. In the end, we got a new gasket, belt, tensioner and ram. Not cheap.

Car works fine now, though. In fact just the other day I "field tested" it on the way to work. I didn't realize how fast I was going, I just knew I was trying to pass someone. Turns out the car easily breaks 100MPH with no problems. At that speed, the images in my rear view get really blurry.

Last night, Tine and I watched a bit of Iron Chef from Japan. I love that show (as I think I've mentioned here before). There are three main chefs to challenge; French, Japanese, and Chinese. On occasion, there is a fourth; Italian. I personally think that they should have a fifth; Bachelor. It'd be great! I can see it now; The Challenger and Iron Chef Bachelor square off as Chairman Kaga reveals the day's secret ingredient . . . Top Ramen!

There would be Kaga's voice-over: "If memory serves me correctly, many a man have forced to eat only the things they had on hand. I believe my chefs are capable of producing great dishes from these!"

Then they could have "The Day Before Payday Battle" where all they had was margarine, nutmeg (which is in all kitchens, regardless if you use it or bought it or not), and Saltines.

Ala cusine!

w00t!

2004-12-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

Just for those of you who may wonder what that phrase means; 'w00t' (spelled just like that) is an expression of joy for online junkies and forum geeks.

OK, as to what I am happy about? Well, I just got a new position here at work to be a Team Lead. Not only does this mean I am no longer off the phone and making more, but I get my old window seat back!

Nothing much else happening here, but I thought I'd let you all know!

Happy Pre-Christmas!

2004-11-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was Thankgiving for the USofA and her territories. At least I think it was . . . I saw Santa, some reindeer, and loads of people dressed as elves so it's a tad hard to tell sometimes. It may have just been my naiveté but I somehow remember growing up thinking that Thanksgiving had something to do with indians, pilgrims, and being thankful. It seems more and more as each year goes by, that Thanksgiving is simply known as It's-almost-time-to-shop-day.

While watching the parades on and off throughout the morning (as I floated in and out of consciousness) I saw 5 different dance group, all of whom sucked, performing different skits to Christmas carols. Many of them were dressed as naughty Ms. Santas or elves, but some were more conservative and just went to the Red/Green ensemble. After a few hours of this, a turkey float went by. Supposedly this was somehow significant to the day and the parade, since the turkey (that exact one) was celebrating his 78th time in this annual event. The poor, ugly, and doomed foul was quickly overshadowed by Santa (lol, nearly wrote Satan) riding in and waving to the crowd.

We DID manage to have turkey at the dinners Tine and I went to on this most confused holiday. One we didn't get to taste since it was coming out of the oven right as we were leaving (looked great though), the other we decimated. It was a huge bird, too! A huge, dinosaurific beast of a bird.

But, alas, the post-turkey glow must end. I am sitting here at work, waiting (no surprise there) for calls that are far and few between. Evidentially, when everyone else is out shopping (or whatever) only the dumbest people are left to call me. Each one of my calls has lasted 40 seconds to 3 minutes, and ranges from "Oops, sorry, it wasn't plugged in" to "Are you SURE this isn't the front desk I'm calling?".

Apparently, tryptophan doesn't just make you sleepy!

Exciting things

2004-11-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been awhile. Winter has come in hard here in the Salt Lake valley which means one thing; Inversion! For those of you unfamiliar with the term allow me to describe to you the horror that inversion is: there is no wind and every bit of smoke, smog, and filth that we throw into the air gets suspended in a fine fog-like mist that obscures vision, blocks the sun, and generally makes life miserable. It isn't like this is a new thing, it happens every year. But, like so many other things, we forget about it enough that it always seems like the worst we've had in a long time.

Possibly the main thing that has made getting up and going to work in this Smog-o-Death bearable has been the fact that there is a copy of Halo 2 there that we play on lunches and breaks. Some numbers have come through on the sales of this game, released last Wednesday. On it's first day alone, it made $125M in it's US based sales. That's the largest release in entertainment history! Spider-Man 2 was the previous record holder at $120M. So far, they estimate domestic sales at 2.38 million copies . . . that's more than the population of Utah.

Holy. Crap.

Everyone keeps asking me if anything new or exciting has happened lately. In a word, no. I actually lead a very boring life, and so I run out of ammo for this blog of mine as a result. Possibly the most exciting thing that has happened to me recently was the new men's bathroom that was finished in the Student Union building in the middle of campus. It has tile, not cement. The stall walls rise above 4.5 feet (no, the old ones didn't). The floor actually tilts towards the floor drains. And, get this, there are hooks in the stalls for you to hang your backpack up, so it doesn't rest at your feet in the puddle left by a previous occupant! w00t, yo!

Wonders never cease, eh?

Lessons in Technology: Terminology

2004-11-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

This is something that has been buggin me a lot, even more so because it really isn't people's fault. Computer terms can be really confusing, and in an attempt to make people more comfortable with them, many institutions used them in incorrect manners. Up to about 2000, many people were still taught these incorrect terms in actual computer classes. You can imagine it's been hard for people to unlearn them!

Though I know most my friends and family either correctly use these terms or just don't care, I hope that maybe the occasional browser may come across these and learn something.

"I mashed the button on my CPU to turn it off."
Firstly, please don't "mash" anything on the system. It may only be figure of speech, but it makes us techs cringe with fear. Second, the CPU has no button, and cannot be turned off by itself. The button you are referring to is the power button on the front of the computer. The CPU is a single chip inside the computer that you shouldn't be touching. Think of it as a computer's brain.

"No, I don't have a notebook; I have a PC."
The term PC is a little misleading to begin with. It stands for Personal Computer. By that right, it could mean anything nowadays! My phone can be a personal computer, and my PDA would definitely be one. However, PC usually refers to something that is an IBM compatible. A notebook can also be a PC. A desktop can be a PC. A PDA can be a PC. The only things that aren't PCs are Apple Computers. Even if a machine is running Linux (instead of Windows) it is still a PC.

"My computer isn't that fast; we don't have broadband yet."
"Broadband" is a term that relates solely to your internet connection, not your computer speed. Your computer speed is entirely independent to your connection speed. A top of the line computer will run just as fast with a DSL connection as it will on 19200 Dial-Up, it just won't open webpages very well. An old roommate of mine had a 486DX (about 33MHz) laptop that we had connected to cable internet. The computer was slow, the connection was fast, and one had nothing to do with the other.

"Virtual memory is fake memory."
I once had a computer salesman try to sell me something, and he quoted the amount of virtual memory as one of its features. He then told me the above line to explain what virtual memory is. [sidenote: not very good sales technique to try and sell a feature, then turn around and describe it as a "fake" feature anyway] Virtual memory (or Pagefile as it's now called) is a section of hard drive space that is reserved as a back-up in case your system runs out of RAM (or Random Access Memory). It's as real as the rest of your system, it just runs slower. Part of the "fake" myth was due to Microsoft's poor naming of it in the first place.

These are only a few of the misused terms I've come across, and I'm sure many more are out there. As I said before, too, it's not people's fault that they refer to them in this way; it was taught to them . . . incorrectly!

As always, use your new skills (knowledge) wisely.

The post-election glow

2004-11-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

Well, it came and went. There were no real surprises, and (so far) no big controversies. A major difference I noticed in this election from others was how many people came up and bluntly asked if I had voted yet. More often than not, when they heard that I didn't vote, I heard "Well if you don't care enough to vote, then you shouldn't have the right to complain."

Let's recap some basic voting rights here:
It is no one else's business whether or not you vote
It is no one else's business who you vote for/against
It is a fundamental American right to complain even when there's nothing to complain about

I really have gotten sick of that saying about not being able to complain. Here's a thought, DON'T COMPLAIN ANYWAY! There are far worse things in the world than the guy you don't like taking office. Chances are good that you'd only be complaining if your vote lost anyway, so what good is your complaining going to do?

There are a few people I could understand complaining; my father among them. My dad is not an American citizen, he is a resident alien. He's been living here, legally, for almost 26 years now. He runs a (mostly) successful private business, pays taxes, obeys the law, and is subject to the same ordinances as everyone else. He cannot be drafted, but he can enlist. And he can't vote. Despite this, he rarely ever complains about it. If he doesn't, the rest of you can shut your yap.

Don't get me wrong, it's good to have opinions. And it's good to be informed on current events. And its VERY good to stand up for what you believe in and speak your peace. Notice that no where in there is the word "complain" or "whine". And that's really what we're talking about here.

Blech . . .

2004-11-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

That's what I think of all this. Remember how it's been raining here for two weeks? That made everything nice and water-logged. I'm quite sure that if there wasn't so much foliage here, most of the Salt Lake valley would have eroded away. Everyone kept telling me, though, that it wasn't going to last; "It's going to be sunny on Monday!" Yup, it's sunny . . . and 25 degrees. So what was a nice soggy city, is now a nice frozen solid city! It took me 15 minutes to get my car doors open this morning. I ended up using my ice scraper as a pry-bar!

Tomorrow is election day. [another blech] I am sort of worried, though, about not being registered to vote. It doesn't matter as far as politics is concerned, as there isn't anyone I'd want to vote for anyway. However, P.Diddy and a select other few rap stars have told me to "Vote or Die".

From this, I can only assume that they have finally snapped and initiated a terror campaign to hunt down and shoot every slacker such as myself. I don't want to die (especially at the hands of rap artists), but they haven't even told me who to vote for! I'd hate to vote for someone he doesn't like and get capped anyway!

Halloween came with no Tick-or-Treat'ers. Some friends came over and we watched Ghostbusters in the dark while inhaling Fiddle Faddle and Doritos. Tine got to sit back in her new La-Z-Boy and basically went comatose.

Saturday we discovered a new Mexican restaurant through my brother. It's Pistol Pete's and its really good for pretty cheap. We ate about 4:30 Saturday afternoon and couldn't think about food again until nearly noon on Sunday!

Sort of makes me want another fish taco just thinking about it . . .

Just a note here

2004-10-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

You are never going to believe this. Ready? It's raining . . . still.

Supposed to last for a while longer, too.

This would all go much faster if you'd shut up!

2004-10-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

We humans are an interesting object. To a certain extent, we believe that we know everything. Not just as a collective; us, ourselves, individually. To the greater extent, we either shy away from people's help or rely so heavily on it that we can't problem solve on our own.

As I have already stated, I work for an IT Helpdesk. This mean problem solving and a load of it. Most of the people who call us have made it to the point where they realize that they do not have the answers and need our help. This is good. However, at some level they still think they can figure it out if only they talk enough! I guess the idea here is, if they can keep talking to me and describing the problem in as many ways possible, than either it will fix itself or the answer will suddenly come to them.

The root of the problem really isn't so much that people are over-confident, but that they don't listen. Case in point:
"Thank you for calling. My name is Zuke."
"Hi Mark, I have a problem."
[yes, and the first is my name]"Alright. Are you calling on behalf of yourself or for someone else."
"I'm calling on behalf of my printer [was not an option I gave, nor is it a person]."

This sounds like a simple case of someone in a hurry, but it happens nearly every time! I've tried modifying my script to make it easier for people to grasp, but it doesn't work. In the end, I think I could be speaking German and the caller wouldn't care so long as I didn't sound like a recording.

"Betätigen Sie ein, um einen Frosch auf Ihren Kopf zu nageln.
Presse zwei zum Hören eines Entequack."

This lack of listening is usually what leads to my biggest pet peeve while on a call: "Sorry, I'm not very computer-smart." You don't NEED to be; I'm giving you letter by letter instructions and if you would just follow them, and not jump ahead, or think you know what you're doing, we'd be fine!

So, in closing; open your ears, shut your mouth, accept someone else may know more than you, and please PLEASE get my name right!

Wow, two years already!

2004-10-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

Not going to go into a huge post here.

Two years ago today (tonight at 7:00 PM) I first met Tine and fell in love with her! To celebrate, I will be in class untill 10PM and Tine will be helping her mom. Hooray!

rrrrrr . . . braaiiinnss . . . ghhhhh

2004-10-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

So, yea, I'm rather zombie-ish today. It's raining . . . again. We had some nice blue sky Sunday,but no sun. I think the weather was just saving up some energy, as this morning it was raining heavier than ever. Add this dreary cloud cover to my average 5 hours of sleep, and I'm barely making it through the day.

This weekend was one of those where it seems like you got a lot done, but realize that you didn't, but maybe you did. Most of everything we did was while sitting around, so we were being productive in the least productive manner. I guess the best way to put it would be to say "We did a lot, but not much of it was important".

About a week ago, I traded some anime with friends in our ward. I lent them my Cowboy Bebop movie and the first season of Samurai Jack, along with some lesser stuff. In return, they lent me Gundam: Endless Waltz, which I had been meaning to see, and Read or Die. That second one has become one of new favorites; it has good characters, good animation, and a load of style. I watched through the entire series and finished in time to catch an episode of Cowboy Bebop on Cartoon Network. Unfortunately, CN was playing something else instead: all episodes of Read or Die, which I had just finished!

Sunday I sang in church. Our choir is pretty sad; not only are there only three men in it, but none of us can sing. Our conductor, our friend Anna, keeps telling us we need to sing out, but we don't sing . . . we rumble. And we can only rumble so loud.

We went to Tine's parent's place afterwards and had dinner with her mom and brother and his wife. Tine's mom, Janet, came up Saturday and will be staying a week, so that will be fun. Tine and I watched Napolean Dynamite on Friday night. It was so funny that Tine is taking her mom to see it Wednesday. Seeing as she's from that area of Idaho, I think she may think it even funnier than we did. All I can say now is "Vote 4 Pedro". We also helped Janet move a bunch of stuff in the basement into other rooms so the carpets can be cleaned Tuesday.

Coming home last night, I finally figured out what was wrong with this stupid Dell computer I've been working on for a customer of mine. The thing has just not cooperated with me from the get-go. I decided to try a new powersupply and it worked fine, which is odd, because the old power supply is still working too, just not in that system!

I also got my computer back in my home. It's been hangin out at the in-law's place since theirs was outdated about 10 years ago. It's nice to have a bit of technology back in my work area, but it feels funny at the same time. When I lived on my own, I had the computer on at all times. It never was off, and I was very used to the white-noise the fans create. NOW, though, the thing sounds like a jet engine idling. Funny what you get used to.

It's snowing out there now. The flakes are HUGE!!! I guess this is what the weather was working on yesterday. Of course, now people are going to panic and drive like maniacs. It seems every year people go out of their minds with the first snow, completely forgetting that they drove in the same stuff on the same roads just one year prior!

On a totally unrelated note, I would like to gripe about just one thing that has really started to get on my nerves while working on the phone:

If you are going to call someplace, don't be surprised when they answer the phone!
I am so tired of answering calls, "Thank you for calling Desktop Support", only to be greeted by "Oh, yeah, can I put you on hold for a sec?". No, you may not. Call back when you are ready to talk. If you notice yourself doing this, please stop.

Mother Nature has lost her mind.

2004-10-22T06:35:00.000-07:00

Did I miss something here? When did I move to Portland?
It has been raining here nearly non-stop for 6 days now. For anyone who can't read the little blurb about me to the left, I'm in Utah . . . the second driest state in the nation. It hasn't been a heavy rain but it has still probably doubled our amount of precipitation this year, which means we will either have a very mild and wet winter, or a very cold and harsh one.

Winters in Utah are an odd creature; they don't actually start till maybe January. Things start to get cold early on, and we may get frost or something on the ground, but it has been the recent trend to have Christmas come and go by with little or no snow on the ground. Come the week after Christmas and BAM, it's like the end of the world has come and He has decided snow will be our demise.

What's funny is that despite all this rain we've gotten, people still can't figure out what to do with their lawn. On my way to school yesterday, I passed a lawn being watered by the sprinkler. Not the automatic ones (suggesting they were just lazy and never turned off the timer) but the rainbow kind you actually have to drag out to a certain spot and crank the hose on. This sprinkler is going on in the rain, on grass that is going dormant anyway, in a desert. Sorry people, you could water the thing till it looks like the local community pool, it's not going to get any greener!

While this isn't on the subject of watering the grass, I'm throwing this in here too. I am so tired of these advertisements for those stupid KidzBops albums. For those of you who haven't seen these, they are normally on early morning with cartoons or news and is a selection of modern pop songs all sung by kids for kids. I suppose the idea is a sound one, and I agree that parents should have their kids listen to music that they know is good for kids, but there is a major flaw with the application here; it's modern pop songs!

If MTV feels the need to bleep a word (or few) from a song, then having it sung by kids doesn't suddenly make it kid-friendly! It's the same song (whether you find it offensive or not) only now it sounds like it's being sung by a Primary class! It's sort of like those Christmas albums "sung" by dogs.

Ok, topic of discussion for today; the Post-Modern Era and how it is neither Post-Modern, nor an era.

You aren't a vampire. Deal with it.

2004-10-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

There's a saying I heard somewhere (or perhaps made up myself, I don't know); "The tortured artist is never tortured, and rarely an artist." It took me awhile to divine the meaning of that little tidbit, but once I did, it really opened my eyes to a whole new understanding of human stupidity.

For those of you who haven't been to America in the past 20 or so years, there are people who prefer to dress in a manner called "Gothic". Over time, they have simply been termed "Goths". Goths generally dress all in black (it's the standard, but not the rule) and act like they are more in touch with their mystic side than the rest of us.

Before you think this is a bash entry, let me clear the air here; I have known many goths. Some are stupid, and some are dear friends. The stupid ones are REALLY stupid, and the decent ones are REALLY decent. They are just like everyone else.

My particular beef is with the ones that not only use this as a style of dress, but more a lifestyle. I once lived with a goth who felt compelled to comment everytime he thought I was living life too much in the mainstream. If he heard me listening to something on the radio or watching a popular TV show, he would comment how I was just an obedient little sheep following the rest of the flock. The problem with this was the fact that he couldn't see he was also following a flock; only his was more predictable.

Here are some standard things goths such as my former roommate do or say:
Take pictures of themselves and friends in graveyards in various poses, acting like their favorite dark spirit.
Buy every piece of eclectic silver hand jewelry off eBay they can find.
Think that they are in some way artistically gifted.
Make little or no money.
Drink . . . alot.
Do all the above while feeling superior to the "cattle" surrounding them.
Do all the above while feeling that they are so original in doing this.

There becomes a point where you are so anti-mainstream, that you become your own mainstream. What's sad (read: mildly amusing) about this is that they are so narrow sighted that they can't see that themselves. I speak, of course, in general. There ARE people out there who simply like wearing black, and are really good people. Of course, there is also a guy out there (I'll bet you money) who calls himself "Voltar, Lord of the Dark" and keeps up on the High School gossip at the clubs after working his shift at the call center that pays him minimum wage.

There are problems with the whole term "Gothic" anyway. Websters defines the word as;
Of or relating to the Goths or their language.
Germanic; Teutonic.
Of or relating to the Middle Ages; medieval.

Of or relating to an architectural style prevalent in western Europe from the 12th through the 15th century and characterized by pointed arches, rib vaulting, and a developing emphasis on verticality and the impression of height.
Of or relating to an architectural style derived from medieval Gothic.

Or there's always this; American Gothic by Grant Wood

Not exactly the type of people who go to raves.

My first external link!

2004-10-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

I love the folks over at bit-tech.net! Not only are they very talented computer modders, but they also have rather "off" editorials from time to time. This is one of those times.

Office Romance
. . . made me appreciate my chair a bit more.

My name is Zuke and I approve this blog

2004-10-14T12:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not making a political post here, I just find that phrase humorous. In reality, the candidate who says it is really saying "I have no clue what this ad says, nor could I care less. I approve getting elected."

Tine and I got to experience an interesting case of "Good Cop, Bad Cop" during the past week. More accurately would be "Smart Cop, Moron".

On my way to school one afternoon, I was clocked by a motorcycle cop who was standing off the shoulder next to his chopper. The dumb thing is, I knew he was there, too; I waved to the officer usually stationed there everyday leading up to that! He waved me over to the side and got my license and registration. He and I made a bit of small talk and he asked me about the stuff in my backseat (parts for the computer case I'm making in metalworking). He was very courteous and fast and gave me a printout of my ticket as well as how much it would cost and to make sure I contact the courts. He even pointed out that he had dropped the speed from 12 MPH over to only 5 so my insurance couldn't care less.

Fast forward about a week. Tine is driving the same car in the same place and gets clocked for the same speed! Only this cop isn't very good. I won't say he wasn't courteous, but I will say he wasn't smart! After looking at Tine's insurance card and the car's registration info, he concluded she was "seeeding" (no joke, it's written right on the ticket) in a silver 2003 Mitsubishi 626 Sedan.

In case you are not familiar with cars, lets list the problems with this:
The car is a 1994.
The car is blue, not silver.
We do not own a Mitsubishi.
Even if we did, Mistubishi does not make the 626. The 626 is a Mazda.
In 2003, not even Mazda made the 626.

Add this to the fact that he couldn't even spell her name correctly (her first, not the last) when he was reading it straight from her license! Needless to say, he did not reduce the charge.

We're hoping to contest the citation on the grounds he's an idiot.

Lessons in technology: The "Mouse"

2004-10-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

This post is not really intended for many of my friends who read this, but for the person who somehow stumbles across this blog. It seems there are many people in the world who say they know how to use a mouse, but really don't. I've had many calls where I've taken up to 10 minutes simply trying to explain what I want the end user to do. So, for your viewing pleasure:

This is a computer mouse.

Now, most 2 year olds can figure out how to move and operate the mouse (I'm not exaggerating, I've watched them do it quite well). However, in today's modern workplace, there are some advanced techniques you can do with this piece of hardware.

You may notice I have taken the liberty of labeling the buttons on the mouse. These are their functions. When a person asks you to "Right Click" an object, that would be the button you hit. Once. When a person asks you to "Single Click" an object, you would then hit it's corresponding button. Again, once.

To avoid confusion, I will let you know right now that NO ONE uses the term "Single Click". Here are some possible alternatives:
Select
Hit
Goto
Find
Choose

You can also use the Single Click button to perform a double click. As the name suggests, this is when you click the single click button twice in rapid succession. When asked to perform a double click, you may hear such words as "Open" and "Access". Many people are under the assumption that you always have to double-click when selecting an object; we now know that to be untrue.

NOTE: you cannot double-right-click . . . please stop trying. In fact, there isn't an option in existence that will have you right-click twice in a row.

Now you have mastered the advanced art of mouse clicking. Use your new skills wisely.

Reverse Logic

2004-10-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

I have been told by some that I often hide behind logic. They never really explain to me what that's supposed to mean, but apparently it's a grievous character flaw. I personally believe that I have never hidden behind logic, but rather just use it more than most people. This has it's positives and negatives to it, so I'm not sure it's exactly an advantage to think this way, but I believe I've learned to deal with it pretty well.

This manner of thinking helps me quite abit in my profession. As I've stated before, I am an IT Administrator (tech support) and assist people over phone or over LAN to fix numerous network and desktop problems. Many of them are things they have gotten themselves in, but some of them are genuine "glitches" that just so happen to occur as they were saving something important.

My ingrained logic makes it very easy for me to troubleshoot in a very linear manner, which is probably why they hired me here more than my actual technical skill. You can always train someone to have technical skill, but you can't train someone to troubleshoot (sort of a nature vs. nurture thing I guess).

The funny thing is, many of the people who call me think that they know more than I do and often argue with me when I try to fix their problem. I often think to myself, "No, you don't know what you're talking about. If you did, you wouldn't be calling me!" For some reason, they are convinced, that because they are sitting right in front of (and are the cause of) the error or problem, they automatically know more about it than I do. Sounds dumb, yes, but its something we all do to a point. I like to call this "Reverse Logic", since it somehow makes complete sense to whoever is thinking it, and absolutely NO sense to anyone thinking about it.

I don't claim to be the one to come up with the idea of "Reverse Logic", as I think I've heard it from somewhere before, but I can't find anything about it online, and everyone I explain it to look at me like I have far too much free time [not true, my brain is simply hyperactive]. I do believe, however, that I will be the first to write a guide to dealing with Reverse Logic.

Step 1: Remember, you are the superior one! This may or may not be true, but so long as you project yourself as such, you're likely to get farther with someone who is out of their gourd.

Step 2: Actually answer rhetorical questions . . . with very short phrases. As the old saying goes, "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

Step 3: Never insult the other person's intelligence . . . you can't talk about what's not there.

Step 4: The blank "I Have No Idea Where You Got That" stare is your best friend. It helps rub in the point that they don't know what they're talking about without you ever having to say it.

These are basic rules, but they can be used for nearly every encounter with someone who isn't thinking. Let me lay down a role-playing example:

Me: What seems to be the matter?
Caller: Well, I kept using the wrong password and now my system is locked.
Me (using logic): Have you tried using the correct password?
Caller (reverse logic): Well, everyone around me changed their password, so I figured my password had changed, too.
[This is normally where I would use Step 4, but it's rather ineffective on the phone]
Caller: So, just because they changed their password doesn't mean my password is changed too.
Me: Right. [See Step 2]

As I stated before, though, not everyone who uses Reverse Logic is dumb. Furthermore, they don't always use it, either. Funny thing is, I've noticed men do it a lot more than women, but women do it worse! Case in point:

Men-
Me: Honey, how on Earth did you fit this in the dishwasher? It doesn't fit on this rack!
Tine (with the blank stare on me): Thats because I put it on the other rack.
Me (reverse logic): Really? But I could have sworn you put it on this rack.
Tine: Nope.

Women-
Caller (starting off with reverse logic): I didn't know what was happening, and it was beeping, so I deleted stuff.
Me: What stuff?
Caller: I don't know.
Me: Why did you do that?
Caller: I don't know.

See the difference?

I hope this little guide helps you the next time you are confronted by someone who can't seem to think straight. I also hope it helps explain why I may be looking at you blankly! :-)

End the madness!

2004-09-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

As hard as it can be to admit it sometimes, we all like advertisements. Even though we hate seeing them in our Inbox or on billboards the simple fact remains, that they obviously DO work and we DO pay attention to them. This isn't so bad, really, as without them businesses wouldn't be able to make themselves known in the marketplace as well.

With that out of the way, allow me to start my rant.

Spam (junk email) is something akin to those annoying flyers you get in the mail for cute checks with ducks on them every month. The biggest difference between them is the fact that I can delete all my spam at once, whereas the the junk mail in my mailbox requires me to actually move from the mailbox to the trash can. In that way, I kind like spam over the old fashion kind. Of course, to be fair, the flyers in my mail aren't telling me that my wife wants to have a larger, more powerful male member (I wasn't aware my wife HAD a male member).

TV commercials have been around since before the TV. In the days of radio they had their original forms, but for the most part, they didn't really change much. If they were ever annoying, it was before my time and I've simply grown up around them. Movie commercials (not movie previews, but those 2 minute long commercials in the theater before the actual movie) have got to go.

I accept the fact that I am forced to watch TV commercials because I get the TV station I'm watching for free. It's paid for by the Nike spot I'm ignoring. However, in a movie theater, not only can I not change the channel or hit mute, but I paid $8 to see it. If I don't have to pay for a TV program because of the commercials, I don't see why I have to pay for a movie either.

Pop-ups are another area where commercials are invading. While most people think of these when they are surfing online, there is another, more annoying type of pop-up starting to take hold; TV Pop-Ups. Case in point:

Last night, I was watching one of my favorite shows, Iron Chef (Sole Battle, very good) and enjoying it greatly. However, a few moments before and after EVERY commercial break I would hear the sound of knives sharpening against each other and a little banner would suddenly cover the lower corner of the screen. On that banner is Emeril waving to me and asking me to make sure and watch his show next. Sure this is annoying under normal circumstances, but when part of the show requires reading subtitles it's downright maddening.

The really annoying this is that they seem to do this most on show I love to watch. I mean this in two ways; 1) the show I'm watching is being covered by an ad with its own sound effects that interrupt the show and, 2) the ad itself is trying to get me to watch something I was planning to watch anyway!

At this level of advertisements, I believe that not only should TV be free, but they should pay me for my time.

Princess Diana of Wales, may she rest in peace.

2004-09-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't heard, Princess Diana, loved the world over for her charm and charity has been killed. I should hope that everyone reading this would have heard, as it happened seven years ago. Good thing we know how to make money off the dead, eh?

Last night I came home after school, dinner/burger in hand, and switched on the TV. There's a ritual I perform where I run up a certain list of channels in a certain order to see what is on; Cartoon Network->History Channel->Discovery Channel->TLC->Comedy Central->Food Network. Always those channels, always that order. Three hops into my sequence, there was a special named "How Princess Diana Actually Died". Like watching an AT-ST about to step on an Ewok, I had to see what happened.

They took everything witnesses said and every consipracy theory that have been floating around and tested them with a panel of "experts". Listed below is what the police reports said happened:

Princess Di and her companion were unbuckled in the back seat of a Mercedes-Benz sedan. Their driver had bit to drink and was driving faster than normal in Paris, France. Upon entering one of Paris' many tunnels, the driver nearly ran right into the back of a Fiat Uno in the far right lane. He swerved and ended up only clipping the other vehicle, damaging the Fiat's rear-left brake light, and the Benz's front right driving light and leaving a white paint streak about 1.5 feet long on the Benz's front quarter panel. Di's driver, still steering to the left to avoid the Fiat, swerved back right to try and regain control, but instead caused the vehicle to nearly hit the Fiat again. He over-steered one more time to the left, and smashed the car at 65MPH into a concrete pillar in the tunnel. The driver of the Fiat was never identified and the vehicle never found.

Here are the opposing testimonies and theories:
People heard the sound of a bomb from the tunnel and not a crash.
The damage to the Benz was so extensive, no crash at only 65MPH could have caused it.
If a Mercedez-Benz at 65MPH clips a Fiat at 35MPH, it would obviously throw the Fiat into the tunnel wall, but it didn't which meant that this was a professional driver.
The Mercedez was facing the opposite direction in the tunnel and could not have fallen that way after a crash.

Panel of "experts" said; no way a crash can sound like a bomb, crash damage at 65MPH should not have crushed the car so badly, no possible way the Fiat could have NOT been thrown out its own lane.

The long and short of it was, through extensive computer simulation, driving range tests, crash tests, audio tests, and even a visit to the actual tunnel to recreate all of it, they proved that not only were all these things possible, they were also very likely (as in the same thing happened in every test). Each and every test proved more and more that the police report was most likely very accurate in its assesments and that the experts really had no idea what they were talking about. All this is happening while the narrator is saying "but we may never know what truly happened, and anything is a possibility."

While I usually applaud people's efforts to try and understand things themselves, and simply not accept what others tell them, I was really just disgusted with this thinly veiled attempt to cast doubt and suspicion on someone's tragic and ACCIDENTAL death. Princess Diana perhaps wasn't the most perfect person to live, but she WAS a very charitable figure who made sure people knew that she loved helping them. To try and make an entire program on it, be proven wrong, and STILL air it was both funny and sad to see.

Death to the Teddy-Bear Picnic!

2004-09-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

So, in true marketing fashion, Lucas has released the original Star Wars trilogy on DVD today. While I still plan on getting the set (eventually), it is not lost on me exactly how much more money Lucas will be getting from this. A few years back, he re-released the original three on VHS with "Added Bonuses" which included a few extra frames here and there, some painfully inconsistent special effects, and a 20 minute interview with Lucas himself at the BEGINNING of EACH movie.

Though I generally don't agree with "remastering" a movie to such degree, there were some improvements made as well; namely the Ewok ending (or as Harrison Ford calls it, The Teddy Bear Picnic). I personally think the Rebel Alliance would have done just as well without the Ewoks, and resent Lucas for forcing them upon us.

However, in an effort to rectify this decision (and/or to make more money) coinciding with the new DVD release is a new game release called Star Wars: Battlefronts. While watching a commercial for this game last night, my opinion of it went from "Looks cool" to "Gotta get that!".
What does this have to do with my feelings towards Ewoks? How about the ability to blast them at random! (yay)

In the game, you can pick which side you wish to fight on and from there, go nuts. In this particular TV spot, they were showing things from the Empire's side, and there was a little Ewok in the sights of your sniper rifle. Yeah, I cheered. Yeah, Tine hit me.

The major problem with Ewoks is that they were never fully developed. They were there strictly for marketing stuffed animals to kids. When we are fist introduced to them, they are fierce flesh-eaters (remember? they were going to EAT Han and Luke). Sort of makes you look differently at that horrible Ewok movie, and the cartoon series it spawned.

It's the same story with Han Solo; when we are fist introduced to him, he outright kills Guido in cold-blood without so much as a flinch. Of course he does! He's a freakin' pirate!

So there you have it; the galaxy is in the hands of a ruthless smuggler, cannibalistic plush toys, and a kid with a sword.

Return of "The Blueberry Birds"

2004-09-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

I think the title say enough there, don't you?

Well, my first test came and went without much ado. It took about 7 minutes to do. I was so worried that I had screwed up (as no one had yet finished) that I reworked all the questions three more times. After deciding they weren't going to get any more correct (or incorrect), I simply turned it in and left.

My "art" class has been fun. For my Fine Art credit, I'm taking basic metal sculpting. It's been alot of fun, as I love to work with my hands. Everytime I walk into the shop, I'm greeted with the smell of burnt metal and flux. It smells alot like the smoke that most firecrackers put off (makes sense since most of them use a type of metal to achive the different colors and effects), and always makes me happy . . . it's a guy thing I guess.

History has been murder on me. The instructor is really good and explains things very well, but he does so for an hour and a half straight. The class starts at 8:30 PM to make matters worse. I WOULD say my engineering classes are about the same, but I've been ditching those! Before you think I'm simply sluffing; they are self taught courses that simply teach me to use specific programs, then turn a text document with what I have learned from it. I saved all my lessons to disk and simply do them at work when it gets slow.

I recently won an auction on eBay which will become the first piece of hardware in the computer I'm building for myself; a 1995 Honda Civic heater core. Confused? The heater core will be put into my water-cooling set up that will cool all the hot componants in the system. Normally, you'd need a special radiator to do this, but those can cost $100+ and this cost me $0.99 instead. Robert says I'm insane for even thinking of putting a type of fluid inside my computer, but he said the same thing when I had to start the computer he was building with a screwdriver (it's safe . . . really!).

He, Andrew, and I are heading down to CES in January and I'm really excited for it! CES (Consumer Electronics Show) is a sort of 'geek Mecca' that is held in Las Vegas every year. Tine has given me the 'OK' to go and drool over all the new gadgets that are being developed and possibly released over the next year and I'm already giddy with excitement.

Talk to you all later!

Not a bad weekend . . .

2004-09-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well, even though I was pretty tired all weekend, I think we had alot of fun!

We went to Media Play Friday afternoon and picked up a movie that Tine had on hold. It was "Tuesdays With Morrie" with Hank Azaria and Jack Lemon (tear jerker). While there, though, my wonderful wife found the entire first season of Samurai Jack on sale and bought it for me! I consider this a major step in our relationship, as she is now able to accept my cartoon addictions.

It's even gotten to the point where she watches Megas XLR (pop culture geek cartoon) with me!

Friday night we double dated with some friends, Robert and Debbi Parker. They've always been like a family to me, and it was realy nice to be able to go out with them. Robert and I were as polite as we could be and refrained from the xBox all evening and instead retired to the office to talk about his new router and try to configure Windows XP SP2 (not quite as seemless in its integration as one would hope).

Saturday we slept, and shopped, and slept. We went out again, this time just the two of us, to a nearby diner "The Midvale Mining Company". It was REALLY good, and REALLY cheap! Tine's meal was about $4.50 and mine came to only $5.00. When you consider the fact that the plates were twice the size of my head and stacked with food, it was really impressive!

Sunday was a nice and quiet day. We had church, and napped, and watched some TV, and napped. As we were going to bed a huge electrical storm rolled in. There was lightning and thunder everywhere, but the rain didn't come for another hour or so. It was sort of nice to stand out on the front "porch" and watch the rain coming down in buckets with the lightning and thunder.

I came in to kiss Tine good night, where she suddenly got scared and started smacking my head. Evidently, while I was outside, an Earwig decided to hitch a ride on me. In her assault, however, she did more damage to me than she did the bug, and knocked the thing somewhere in the room. We tore that room apart (we hate Earwigs) but never found it.

Well, a nice, restfull weekend is over and I am at work now. I have a test today in Math, and am not really looking forward to it. Wish me luck!

Goodbye window seat! :'(

2004-09-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

Well, my work is moving me! I work for a company called Unisys that manages other companies IT departments. Many different industries have found it cheaper and more effective if they outsource their tech support and so our company picks up the department for them. Our location here takes care of 6 or so different help desks, of which I personally answer calls for three of them.

Originally, I was supposed to go and work for the City of Minneapolis Help Desk, but they decided I'd be better working for the GSA. The GSA (General Services Administration) is a branch of the government that takes care of awarding contracts, from fighter jets to toilet paper, to private contractors. Think of it as a reverse eBay!

The nice thing about it was that I didn't have to take many calls, and I was placed on the far side of the center where I overlook the Salt Lake City Airport's secondary runway. I have my own window and a large amount of space all to myself! The best thing about it was that no one really went over there much unless it was to talk to me or to get something out of the storage room near me. I also enjoyed ALL government holidays and the perks of working for/with the Federal Government.

But, alas, all things must change. I have been moved to the Marriott Hotel queue where I will be answering calls non-stop from people who can't read their screens or follow instructions. While this may or may not sound bad to most of you, the real kick in the teeth is the loss of my wonderful desk. I will instead be sitting in the exact center of the call center under a light that doesn't quite work right.

As today has been rather slow, I have taken the opportunity to move my stuff to the new desk and clear out the last person's belongings. Evidently the last occupant simply walked out one day many weeks ago. In going, he left four steno notebooks, three legal pads, 5 pens, $0.15, a package of Windex wipes, an Eddie Bauer bottle (with something growing inside), and a rather nice looking coffee container. While moving my filing cabinet in and his out (as it's easier than moving stuff by itself and changing the locks), it was discovered that the "very nice" coffee container's lid does not sit on top very tight AND contained five-week-old coffee.

I haven't drank coffee now in about 2 years, and after smelling that stuff spill all over the lower drawers, I don't think I could ever want to again! The cream that he had used has curdled, and the coffee itself has turned into some sort of vinegar-esque liquor. The odor has permeated the skin on my hands, and its now all I can smell.

On a positive note, I'm hoping to get out of here early so I can work in the computer lab at school early, so I can get home early, and Tine and I can actually have a date night! w0ot!

I hate birds

2004-09-07T06:48:00.000-07:00

Well, Labor Day weekend came and went without much hub-bub. Tine and I slept alot (no, A LOT!) and pretty much spent the weekend in a daze. Her more than me, really. She's had this horrible sinus congestion for about a month and last week went into the doctor's to get some anti-biotics. I (in all my infinite wisdom) suggested she also take a Benadryl to help. 30 hours later, she was awake (sort of).

We DID get to see her parents and help them load the truck for their move to Tucson. Her dad has been offered a position there and will be working there for about a year. They are paying for his living, vehicle, cost of moving, and cost of travelling up here every few weeks! Not bad!

We also got to stop by our friends house, the Barker's. It was Roy's birthday and we got there just in time for cake. Shortly afterwards, we went to our freinds/family the Parker's. Debi and Tine sat down in their normal seats (Tine has claimed the rocker closest to the office as hers) and Robert and I tried to figure out an xbox game Andrew left him. It's ironic that the hardest games to master, and require the most skill and technique are sports games! After playing 3 horrible quarters in this NFL game, we were able to successfully complete a pass which later led to a 1st down!

As for the title of today's entry: Monday morning (1PM) we came out of our stupor and decided to run some errands. Upon coming out to the cars, we found the locals (animal life) had some fun of their own over the weekend. It seems that many of the birds in the area decided to binge on the little berries that grow next to our parking spots and then pass them directly onto our cars. Really, they hit Tine's car the worst, but mine had some splash-back. The passenger side of the Focus now has what I have dubbed "Machine-Gun Turds" about an inch in diameter and bright blue ALL over.

Anywho I've got some work to do, and since we slept for most the weekend, there isn't much else to write about! Laters!

Wow, my first blog.

2004-09-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am. Everyone keeps telling me I should keep a journal, and while I realize this isn't the same, perhaps it will help get me started!

I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm 23, happily married, and of unknown ethnicity. Actually, I know what I am, as do many of my friends, but most people who see me just assume I'm some variant of Hispanic.

I recently re-started my college education, and am taking 5 classes this semester. It's been a tad stressing getting back into the habit of waking up for work at 5:30AM and getting home from school about 10PM, but I think I'm doing ok. If anything, I hope the physical and mental stress that long hours and homework exert will help me shed some excess weight. That way I can replace the idea of dieting with schoolwork, and people will stop telling me to go work out.

As the title of my blog suggests I am a geek. While this is becoming more and more of an acceptable term, some people still consider it funny that I should willingly call myself this. Thing is, being a geek is far more preferrable to being a nerd. Nerds have no social skills; geeks are just really "into" specific things. Some people call themselves "gear-heads" because they are really into engines or motorcycles. I just call them "car-geeks" (this seems to bother a friend of mine who is a mechanic). I don't really consider myself a full-out, hard core, "balls to the wall" geek when compared to those I know out there. I guess I'm more of a "jack-of-all-obsessions" geek instead.

To be perfectly honest, I don't really know what to put in here. So I will sign off until I can think of something more to contribute.

Laters!