Mad Geek

You are never going to believe this. Ready? It's raining . . . still.


Supposed to last for a while longer, too.

We humans are an interesting object. To a certain extent, we believe that we know everything. Not just as a collective; us, ourselves, individually. To the greater extent, we either shy away from people's help or rely so heavily on it that we can't problem solve on our own.

As I have already stated, I work for an IT Helpdesk. This mean problem solving and a load of it. Most of the people who call us have made it to the point where they realize that they do not have the answers and need our help. This is good. However, at some level they still think they can figure it out if only they talk enough! I guess the idea here is, if they can keep talking to me and describing the problem in as many ways possible, than either it will fix itself or the answer will suddenly come to them.

The root of the problem really isn't so much that people are over-confident, but that they don't listen. Case in point:
"Thank you for calling. My name is Zuke."
"Hi Mark, I have a problem."
[yes, and the first is my name]"Alright. Are you calling on behalf of yourself or for someone else."
"I'm calling on behalf of my printer [was not an option I gave, nor is it a person]."

This sounds like a simple case of someone in a hurry, but it happens nearly every time! I've tried modifying my script to make it easier for people to grasp, but it doesn't work. In the end, I think I could be speaking German and the caller wouldn't care so long as I didn't sound like a recording.

"Betätigen Sie ein, um einen Frosch auf Ihren Kopf zu nageln.
Presse zwei zum Hören eines Entequack."

This lack of listening is usually what leads to my biggest pet peeve while on a call: "Sorry, I'm not very computer-smart." You don't NEED to be; I'm giving you letter by letter instructions and if you would just follow them, and not jump ahead, or think you know what you're doing, we'd be fine!

So, in closing; open your ears, shut your mouth, accept someone else may know more than you, and please PLEASE get my name right!

Not going to go into a huge post here.

Two years ago today (tonight at 7:00 PM) I first met Tine and fell in love with her! To celebrate, I will be in class untill 10PM and Tine will be helping her mom. Hooray!

So, yea, I'm rather zombie-ish today. It's raining . . . again. We had some nice blue sky Sunday,but no sun. I think the weather was just saving up some energy, as this morning it was raining heavier than ever. Add this dreary cloud cover to my average 5 hours of sleep, and I'm barely making it through the day.

This weekend was one of those where it seems like you got a lot done, but realize that you didn't, but maybe you did. Most of everything we did was while sitting around, so we were being productive in the least productive manner. I guess the best way to put it would be to say "We did a lot, but not much of it was important".

About a week ago, I traded some anime with friends in our ward. I lent them my Cowboy Bebop movie and the first season of Samurai Jack, along with some lesser stuff. In return, they lent me Gundam: Endless Waltz, which I had been meaning to see, and Read or Die. That second one has become one of new favorites; it has good characters, good animation, and a load of style. I watched through the entire series and finished in time to catch an episode of Cowboy Bebop on Cartoon Network. Unfortunately, CN was playing something else instead: all episodes of Read or Die, which I had just finished!

Sunday I sang in church. Our choir is pretty sad; not only are there only three men in it, but none of us can sing. Our conductor, our friend Anna, keeps telling us we need to sing out, but we don't sing . . . we rumble. And we can only rumble so loud.

We went to Tine's parent's place afterwards and had dinner with her mom and brother and his wife. Tine's mom, Janet, came up Saturday and will be staying a week, so that will be fun. Tine and I watched Napolean Dynamite on Friday night. It was so funny that Tine is taking her mom to see it Wednesday. Seeing as she's from that area of Idaho, I think she may think it even funnier than we did. All I can say now is "Vote 4 Pedro". We also helped Janet move a bunch of stuff in the basement into other rooms so the carpets can be cleaned Tuesday.

Coming home last night, I finally figured out what was wrong with this stupid Dell computer I've been working on for a customer of mine. The thing has just not cooperated with me from the get-go. I decided to try a new powersupply and it worked fine, which is odd, because the old power supply is still working too, just not in that system!

I also got my computer back in my home. It's been hangin out at the in-law's place since theirs was outdated about 10 years ago. It's nice to have a bit of technology back in my work area, but it feels funny at the same time. When I lived on my own, I had the computer on at all times. It never was off, and I was very used to the white-noise the fans create. NOW, though, the thing sounds like a jet engine idling. Funny what you get used to.

It's snowing out there now. The flakes are HUGE!!! I guess this is what the weather was working on yesterday. Of course, now people are going to panic and drive like maniacs. It seems every year people go out of their minds with the first snow, completely forgetting that they drove in the same stuff on the same roads just one year prior!

On a totally unrelated note, I would like to gripe about just one thing that has really started to get on my nerves while working on the phone:

If you are going to call someplace, don't be surprised when they answer the phone!
I am so tired of answering calls, "Thank you for calling Desktop Support", only to be greeted by "Oh, yeah, can I put you on hold for a sec?". No, you may not. Call back when you are ready to talk. If you notice yourself doing this, please stop.

Did I miss something here? When did I move to Portland?
It has been raining here nearly non-stop for 6 days now. For anyone who can't read the little blurb about me to the left, I'm in Utah . . . the second driest state in the nation. It hasn't been a heavy rain but it has still probably doubled our amount of precipitation this year, which means we will either have a very mild and wet winter, or a very cold and harsh one.

Winters in Utah are an odd creature; they don't actually start till maybe January. Things start to get cold early on, and we may get frost or something on the ground, but it has been the recent trend to have Christmas come and go by with little or no snow on the ground. Come the week after Christmas and BAM, it's like the end of the world has come and He has decided snow will be our demise.

What's funny is that despite all this rain we've gotten, people still can't figure out what to do with their lawn. On my way to school yesterday, I passed a lawn being watered by the sprinkler. Not the automatic ones (suggesting they were just lazy and never turned off the timer) but the rainbow kind you actually have to drag out to a certain spot and crank the hose on. This sprinkler is going on in the rain, on grass that is going dormant anyway, in a desert. Sorry people, you could water the thing till it looks like the local community pool, it's not going to get any greener!

While this isn't on the subject of watering the grass, I'm throwing this in here too. I am so tired of these advertisements for those stupid KidzBops albums. For those of you who haven't seen these, they are normally on early morning with cartoons or news and is a selection of modern pop songs all sung by kids for kids. I suppose the idea is a sound one, and I agree that parents should have their kids listen to music that they know is good for kids, but there is a major flaw with the application here; it's modern pop songs!

If MTV feels the need to bleep a word (or few) from a song, then having it sung by kids doesn't suddenly make it kid-friendly! It's the same song (whether you find it offensive or not) only now it sounds like it's being sung by a Primary class! It's sort of like those Christmas albums "sung" by dogs.

Ok, topic of discussion for today; the Post-Modern Era and how it is neither Post-Modern, nor an era.

There's a saying I heard somewhere (or perhaps made up myself, I don't know); "The tortured artist is never tortured, and rarely an artist." It took me awhile to divine the meaning of that little tidbit, but once I did, it really opened my eyes to a whole new understanding of human stupidity.

For those of you who haven't been to America in the past 20 or so years, there are people who prefer to dress in a manner called "Gothic". Over time, they have simply been termed "Goths". Goths generally dress all in black (it's the standard, but not the rule) and act like they are more in touch with their mystic side than the rest of us.

Before you think this is a bash entry, let me clear the air here; I have known many goths. Some are stupid, and some are dear friends. The stupid ones are REALLY stupid, and the decent ones are REALLY decent. They are just like everyone else.

My particular beef is with the ones that not only use this as a style of dress, but more a lifestyle. I once lived with a goth who felt compelled to comment everytime he thought I was living life too much in the mainstream. If he heard me listening to something on the radio or watching a popular TV show, he would comment how I was just an obedient little sheep following the rest of the flock. The problem with this was the fact that he couldn't see he was also following a flock; only his was more predictable.

Here are some standard things goths such as my former roommate do or say:
Take pictures of themselves and friends in graveyards in various poses, acting like their favorite dark spirit.
Buy every piece of eclectic silver hand jewelry off eBay they can find.
Think that they are in some way artistically gifted.
Make little or no money.
Drink . . . alot.
Do all the above while feeling superior to the "cattle" surrounding them.
Do all the above while feeling that they are so original in doing this.

There becomes a point where you are so anti-mainstream, that you become your own mainstream. What's sad (read: mildly amusing) about this is that they are so narrow sighted that they can't see that themselves. I speak, of course, in general. There ARE people out there who simply like wearing black, and are really good people. Of course, there is also a guy out there (I'll bet you money) who calls himself "Voltar, Lord of the Dark" and keeps up on the High School gossip at the clubs after working his shift at the call center that pays him minimum wage.

There are problems with the whole term "Gothic" anyway. Websters defines the word as;
Of or relating to the Goths or their language.
Germanic; Teutonic.
Of or relating to the Middle Ages; medieval.

Of or relating to an architectural style prevalent in western Europe from the 12th through the 15th century and characterized by pointed arches, rib vaulting, and a developing emphasis on verticality and the impression of height.
Of or relating to an architectural style derived from medieval Gothic.

Or there's always this; American Gothic by Grant Wood

Not exactly the type of people who go to raves.

I love the folks over at bit-tech.net! Not only are they very talented computer modders, but they also have rather "off" editorials from time to time. This is one of those times.

Office Romance
. . . made me appreciate my chair a bit more.

I'm not making a political post here, I just find that phrase humorous. In reality, the candidate who says it is really saying "I have no clue what this ad says, nor could I care less. I approve getting elected."

Tine and I got to experience an interesting case of "Good Cop, Bad Cop" during the past week. More accurately would be "Smart Cop, Moron".

On my way to school one afternoon, I was clocked by a motorcycle cop who was standing off the shoulder next to his chopper. The dumb thing is, I knew he was there, too; I waved to the officer usually stationed there everyday leading up to that! He waved me over to the side and got my license and registration. He and I made a bit of small talk and he asked me about the stuff in my backseat (parts for the computer case I'm making in metalworking). He was very courteous and fast and gave me a printout of my ticket as well as how much it would cost and to make sure I contact the courts. He even pointed out that he had dropped the speed from 12 MPH over to only 5 so my insurance couldn't care less.

Fast forward about a week. Tine is driving the same car in the same place and gets clocked for the same speed! Only this cop isn't very good. I won't say he wasn't courteous, but I will say he wasn't smart! After looking at Tine's insurance card and the car's registration info, he concluded she was "seeeding" (no joke, it's written right on the ticket) in a silver 2003 Mitsubishi 626 Sedan.

In case you are not familiar with cars, lets list the problems with this:
The car is a 1994.
The car is blue, not silver.
We do not own a Mitsubishi.
Even if we did, Mistubishi does not make the 626. The 626 is a Mazda.
In 2003, not even Mazda made the 626.

Add this to the fact that he couldn't even spell her name correctly (her first, not the last) when he was reading it straight from her license! Needless to say, he did not reduce the charge.

We're hoping to contest the citation on the grounds he's an idiot.

This post is not really intended for many of my friends who read this, but for the person who somehow stumbles across this blog. It seems there are many people in the world who say they know how to use a mouse, but really don't. I've had many calls where I've taken up to 10 minutes simply trying to explain what I want the end user to do. So, for your viewing pleasure:

This is a computer mouse.


Now, most 2 year olds can figure out how to move and operate the mouse (I'm not exaggerating, I've watched them do it quite well). However, in today's modern workplace, there are some advanced techniques you can do with this piece of hardware.

You may notice I have taken the liberty of labeling the buttons on the mouse. These are their functions. When a person asks you to "Right Click" an object, that would be the button you hit. Once. When a person asks you to "Single Click" an object, you would then hit it's corresponding button. Again, once.

To avoid confusion, I will let you know right now that NO ONE uses the term "Single Click". Here are some possible alternatives:
Select
Hit
Goto
Find
Choose

You can also use the Single Click button to perform a double click. As the name suggests, this is when you click the single click button twice in rapid succession. When asked to perform a double click, you may hear such words as "Open" and "Access". Many people are under the assumption that you always have to double-click when selecting an object; we now know that to be untrue.

NOTE: you cannot double-right-click . . . please stop trying. In fact, there isn't an option in existence that will have you right-click twice in a row.

Now you have mastered the advanced art of mouse clicking. Use your new skills wisely.

I have been told by some that I often hide behind logic. They never really explain to me what that's supposed to mean, but apparently it's a grievous character flaw. I personally believe that I have never hidden behind logic, but rather just use it more than most people. This has it's positives and negatives to it, so I'm not sure it's exactly an advantage to think this way, but I believe I've learned to deal with it pretty well.

This manner of thinking helps me quite abit in my profession. As I've stated before, I am an IT Administrator (tech support) and assist people over phone or over LAN to fix numerous network and desktop problems. Many of them are things they have gotten themselves in, but some of them are genuine "glitches" that just so happen to occur as they were saving something important.

My ingrained logic makes it very easy for me to troubleshoot in a very linear manner, which is probably why they hired me here more than my actual technical skill. You can always train someone to have technical skill, but you can't train someone to troubleshoot (sort of a nature vs. nurture thing I guess).

The funny thing is, many of the people who call me think that they know more than I do and often argue with me when I try to fix their problem. I often think to myself, "No, you don't know what you're talking about. If you did, you wouldn't be calling me!" For some reason, they are convinced, that because they are sitting right in front of (and are the cause of) the error or problem, they automatically know more about it than I do. Sounds dumb, yes, but its something we all do to a point. I like to call this "Reverse Logic", since it somehow makes complete sense to whoever is thinking it, and absolutely NO sense to anyone thinking about it.

I don't claim to be the one to come up with the idea of "Reverse Logic", as I think I've heard it from somewhere before, but I can't find anything about it online, and everyone I explain it to look at me like I have far too much free time [not true, my brain is simply hyperactive]. I do believe, however, that I will be the first to write a guide to dealing with Reverse Logic.

Step 1: Remember, you are the superior one! This may or may not be true, but so long as you project yourself as such, you're likely to get farther with someone who is out of their gourd.

Step 2: Actually answer rhetorical questions . . . with very short phrases. As the old saying goes, "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

Step 3: Never insult the other person's intelligence . . . you can't talk about what's not there.

Step 4: The blank "I Have No Idea Where You Got That" stare is your best friend. It helps rub in the point that they don't know what they're talking about without you ever having to say it.

These are basic rules, but they can be used for nearly every encounter with someone who isn't thinking. Let me lay down a role-playing example:

Me: What seems to be the matter?
Caller: Well, I kept using the wrong password and now my system is locked.
Me (using logic): Have you tried using the correct password?
Caller (reverse logic): Well, everyone around me changed their password, so I figured my password had changed, too.
[This is normally where I would use Step 4, but it's rather ineffective on the phone]
Caller: So, just because they changed their password doesn't mean my password is changed too.
Me: Right. [See Step 2]

As I stated before, though, not everyone who uses Reverse Logic is dumb. Furthermore, they don't always use it, either. Funny thing is, I've noticed men do it a lot more than women, but women do it worse! Case in point:

Men-
Me: Honey, how on Earth did you fit this in the dishwasher? It doesn't fit on this rack!
Tine (with the blank stare on me): Thats because I put it on the other rack.
Me (reverse logic): Really? But I could have sworn you put it on this rack.
Tine: Nope.

Women-
Caller (starting off with reverse logic): I didn't know what was happening, and it was beeping, so I deleted stuff.
Me: What stuff?
Caller: I don't know.
Me: Why did you do that?
Caller: I don't know.

See the difference?

I hope this little guide helps you the next time you are confronted by someone who can't seem to think straight. I also hope it helps explain why I may be looking at you blankly! :-)